12/12/2011
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HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH NEGATIVE BRIDESMAIDS

Hi Ladies...even though I am on hiatus from planning there are still things that have to be done.

So this past weekend I held a bridesmaid meeting and I AM TOTALLY DISAPPOINTED. 2 of my girls were almost an hour late without reason. They could not stay focus to save their lives and I feel as though we got ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ACCOMPLISHED.

My cousin who is my Maid of Honor was just totally out of line. To me as the MOH she should have been the one that keeps everyone in line and helps set the tone for how the meeting will be ran, unfortunately to date it has not worked out that way. She has been late and very NEGATIVE at both meetings that we have had.....AND I'M SO OVER IT. She complained about the dresses "I DONT LIKE IT" , when the girls tried to discuss the bridal shower and bachelorette party she changed the subject and wants to have the bridal shower 2 weeks before the wedding and the bachelorette party 1 month before the wedding...UH NO!!!

On top of that I went dress shopping before the meeting and showed the girls my dress that I LOVE, and they told me that was not my dress because I did not cry....before I knew it I said some very explicit words to them, and let them know that everybody does not go through that.

I just dont know what to do...but I have said that I will not be holding anymore meetings because I feel as though we get nothing accomplished.

So what I have decided to do (suggested by FH) is just meet with 3 of the 6 bridesmaids that have been helpful and cooperative and whatever the 3 of us agree upon the rest will have to roll with or exclude themselves.

Sorry for the long RANT but I was to tears and was truly PISSED off.

So ladies how do you deal with NEGATIVE BRIDESMAIDS???
bridesmaids, rant, purple, tkbooker
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littlelamb's Purple wedding
littlelamb
 |  Petrolia, ON, Canada  |  12/12/2011  | 
Fortunately I havent had to deal with negative bridesmaids, but I think what you have decided to do (meet with the 3 that are cooperating) is the best thing you can do. I would do the same!

Sorry you have to go through this with some of your bridesmaids :(
pbwithoutthej's Pink wedding
pbwithoutthej
 |  Rocky mount, NC, USA  |  12/12/2011  | 
Just invite the 3 cooperative bridesmaids as said =)

I'm a rather harsh person, I would've said "You 3 are done!" lol
or simply say "I'm the bride, this is my wedding, my opinion matters most, thank you" and completely ignore their shenanigans.
mrstauriac's Pink wedding
mrstauriac
 |  Lafayette, LA, USA  |  12/12/2011  | 
I feel ur pain. I have about 16 bridesmaids & only a few of them have been helpful. Recently we went to pick out dresses. 2 or 3 live out of town & i excused them from coming but i expected everyone who was available to come. Needless to say, only 5 came and 1, the MOH was an hour late. So what i did was told the ones that said they were coming & didnt come (and i know they had nothing to do) that they're dresses have to be ordered by Dec 31 & whomever doesn't cant be in the wedding. Today is Dec 12 & guess how many have ordered their dresses....NONE!! I have no problem with kicking them out either. I dont argue with anyone or raise my voice. I say what i have to say nicely & let them know what i say, goes. I say kick the ones out who arent being supportive.
princesni's Pink wedding
princesni
 |  Luanda, Luanda, Angola  |  12/12/2011  | 
am so sorry about that hun, but i agree, stick with whomever is helpful and make them ur bmaids... dont strreess about the others
christy1's Purple wedding
christy1
 |  Zambia  |  12/13/2011  | 
sorry you had to go through that babe. I agree with your FH's suggestion of meeting the other three that are more cooperative and make progress with them, you have every right thereafter if the three negative ones dont wanna agree, to let them go!!!!!! dont stress hun, you have a solution :) xox
glamdivabride's Purple wedding
glamdivabride
 |  Atlanta, GA, USA  |  12/13/2011  | 
That sucks, but Bridal Party drama can be the worse unfortunately. I Friends that i had for years were not there for me and caused a lot of drama, and unfortunately I asked them not to be in the wedding. I say just have the people in your wedding who have been there for you and have helped you along the way. Being in someone's bridal party is somewhat of a selfless act. They need to just be there for you and do what makes the bride happy and not express their own personal feelings or views.

If the other girls are not there for you, don't have them in the wedding. You don't want anyone standing by your side who has not really been there for you.
ourrenewalsagain's Pink wedding
ourrenewalsagain
 |  North highlands, CA, USA  |  12/13/2011  | 
That is horrible!  That's why I didn't have bridesmaids at all three of our weddings.  Don't have time for that. Less stress the better.  Geezz, my two daughters were the flowergirl and jr. bridesmaid on the last round. If I had to babysit, why not my own? LOL  They were angels! No drama!
live2sing's Blue wedding
live2sing
 |  Goderich, ON, Canada  |  12/13/2011  | 
Aww that really sucks! I had some problems with my MOH not caring and one of my BMs being too controlling at first but things seem to have gotten better now that my MOH is around more and cares more and I don't have to rely on the one BM so much therefore she isn't so controlling anymore haha
I can't imagine them being like yours though and saying such hurtful things, I would be just as pissed off as you as well!
I HATE when ppl say they don't like someone's dress when they are so excited about it, I don't think they realize it is NOT their dress!!! lol There will always be different opinions when you have a group of girls together, it has happened in every wedding i have been in and it happens in mine.
My advice is just carry on doing what YOU want and you are completely right to just consult the BM's who are helpful and kind to you. If the others say anything about it then tell them how hurt you are. I had to have a good talk with my MOH and it really helped.
Good luck! xo
tkbooker's Purple wedding
tkbooker
 |  Sterling heights, MI, USA  |  12/14/2011  | 
Thanks ladies...I really appreciate it. Since I posted this I have spoken with the 3 ladies that want to assist and I feel a whole lot better with doing so.

I have also decided to speak with my cousin/MOH to let her know how I feel, so that I will not be feeling so kind of way everytime I see her.

THANKS AGAIN LADIES......YOU ROCK!!!!
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