03/19/2009
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Did your fiance ask your father for your hand in marriage?

A couple of months ago my boyfriend took my parents out to a nice restaurant for dinner and asked my dad for my hand in marriage. Does anyone still do this? My fiance really wanted to do this. And my parents were glad that he did. I suppose that they feel more involved? Did you ladies have your hands asked for????
mikeandmel's Pink wedding
 |  Vancouver, BC, Canada  |  03/19/2009  | 
yup mine did.  I never knew how common of a tradition it still was.  my friend just got engaged and her fiance asked her Dad too.  And I remember reading a that a lot of brides on this site had the same experience.
keegzzz's Green wedding
 |  San diego, CA, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
Mine did. I know it was something really important to him. He asked both my mom & my dad (they're divorced) TWO MONTHS before he finally popped the question. He showed them the ring & everything & I still can't believe my mom was able to keep her mouth shut for so long!

It was funny, because I called my mom first, then my dad, and I said "I'm engaged!" And they both answered the same-- "I KNOW!!!"

I think it was very gentlemanly of him to ask for permission. I know my parents appreciated it a lot. My dad LOVES him! It's great to have their blessing.
fifikiwi's Yellow wedding
 |  Chesapeake, VA, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
My dad is old fashioned.  He doesn't think it's right for a man not to ask for his blessing.  My brothers in law asked my dad, and his response was "Do you hit women" and they said no and he said have at it.  My FH was helping my dad take Christmas boxes down from the attic and told him that he had bought me a ring, and he said Dad didn't ask him that, but told him, "Good on you"  LOL.  My dad is a man of many words.  So FH, my Dad, his mom and dad and his sisters all knew before I did.
treasurechest46's Red wedding
 |  Indianapolis, IN, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
My fiance asked my MOM and my sisters for my hand in marriage...How cool is that?
tiggre99's Red wedding
 |  Fairfax, VA, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
my parents are divorced and although both have been involved in my life--he asked my mom since I had lived with her since the divorce.  He made up a story to get mom out alone and asked her.  :-)
oldhollywoodbride's Black wedding
 |  Reno, NV, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
My FH did too! It made my parents extremely happy...my mom told me later on that my dad was crying of the happiness that filled his heart when he asked for my hand and his blessings! I was speechless and thrilled! ^_^
soon2be's Purple wedding
 |  USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
Yeah my Fh went to my Mom House and asked her for my hand in marriage, she said to him "Sure i would love for you to be my new son", "I COULDNT IMAGINE ANYONE BETTER" (I THINK THAT BROUGH THEM SO CLOSED AND PLANNING MY SURPRISE PROPOSAL ....
vintagebabe's Green wedding
 |  Lake placid, NY, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
yes my hubby asked my dad and it meant the world to him. I'm an only child and my dad was a single father with me for awhile. My dad brags about it all the time and when he gave his speech at our reception he talked about Charles asking him properly and how rare it was, and how he was honored to have a son in law who respected his old fashioned values. I'm glad he did it too.
amcs76's Green wedding
 |  Whitby, ON, Canada  |  03/19/2009  | 
Yes, I told him it was important that he ask my parents. It's important to me. I don't think a lot of men do it anymore, but it's a nice tradition.
shalini's Red wedding
 |  Augusta, GA, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
He did ask for my hand in marriage.  We went home for my birthday & after spending the day with my family he asked my dad.  My dad told him "hold on let me get my wife."  He then got my mom, who told him it was an Indian tradition to give him a sweet.  However, since she didn't have a sweet she gave me a teaspoon of sugar.  Haha.  I think it's important to ask the parents.  I think it's a sign of respect .
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shana831
 |  Albany, NY, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
Mine did, and I actually told him that he had to because I wanted my father's blessing before I would marry him.
fireflybride's Purple wedding
 |  Little rock, AR, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
4 years ago, my FH asked my dad for permission to spend extra time with me to get to know me better, and in hope that he would eventually marry me. My parents had him take a written interview/test about why he wanted to get to know me.
When he decided to propose last October, he took my parents out to eat at a nice restaurant and asked for my hand in marriage.
I love that he did that! He is so respectful to my parents and I am so thankful for that! What a man!
kaikai2004's Purple wedding
 |  Newark, DE, USA  |  03/19/2009  | 
Yeah he did, he asked him about 2 months before he proposed.
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JoyfulSong
 |  Saint john's, NL, Canada  |  03/20/2009  | 
FH asked my Dad.  

We were all at my parent's house last January - my mom, dad, brother, FH-to be, and I.  FH-to be, brother and I were packing to go back home (a 3 hour drive).  Mom was worried because we were supposed to have a snowstorm the next day, so she wanted us on the road asap.  She was hovering all over us, and trying to bully us into moving faster.  We were packing up our things, and FH was giving Dad some files.  Brother was on his computer doing stuff as well.  Dad went up to the office, and Mom went into the kitchen.  I offer to do FH-to-be's computer work, since Dad is alone.  

Mom comes back into the living room, and starts quasi-yelling at us to get a move on.  I calmly tell her that I am doing FH-to-be's work for him, so that he can get some other things done, so we can hit the road.  She wants to know what these things are ..... I don't tell her.  She goes up into the office to find out for herself.  So, both my parents were there, and I knew when he was asking for my hand.
soon2bmrsramos's Black wedding
 |  USA  |  03/20/2009  | 
I had no idea this was still being done! Thanks ladies for sharing with me :-)
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nmiller20
 |  Buffalo, NY, USA  |  03/20/2009  | 
Well since my dad is a deadbeat, my fiancee had a talk with my 10 year old showed him the ring for his approval and asked him for my hand! After Isaiah looked at my ring he agreed....It was perfect!
light1882's Orange wedding
 |  Mission, KS, USA  |  03/20/2009  | 
My FH asked my dad. Both my sisters' husbands had asked, so FH felt he should for my dad's sake. I was against it because I think it's an old tradition that makes no sense in my case since I've been entirely on my own for almost 10 years, now. Anyway, he asked and although my dad technically said yes, it was not good. My dad lectured him on how he had made a mistake by having his daughter in a previous relationship, how my FH needs to stop thinking about himself and being selfish and immature (he's not!), and about how he didn't think FH and I should be living together now anyway. When my FH told me that, I was furious. I wanted to scream at my dad. Here FH was trying to do something simply for my dad's sake of tradition and my dad treats him horribly. FH handled the situation just fine and didn't cause any drama with my dad and I guess my dad thinks he just imparted some "wisdom" upon him. Needless to say, now FH agrees with me that it's a dumb tradition!
shoeaholic's Purple wedding
 |  Edmonton, AB, Canada  |  03/20/2009  | 
Yes, mine did as well.  He felt it was the right thing to do for him...and I know my dad appreciates it.
sabrinav's Blue wedding
 |  Brampton, ON, Canada  |  03/20/2009  | 
Yep Dave did this.
He arranged it all with my brother and made sure both parents would be home.  They thought he was just coming by to pick up my luggage and invited him in for a coffee and he asked them both:)
It had told him he didn't have to do that but he really wanted to and after he did I was so glad.  It just made it really nice:)
tiffbride10's Purple wedding
 |  Bogalusa, LA, USA  |  03/20/2009  | 
Yep, My fiance did and I didn't even know about it until a week after he proposed, but he also asked my mom since they are very close.
littlelady93's Pink wedding
 |  Saint louis, MO, USA  |  03/20/2009  | 
Sort of. He actually asked my grandfather. My real father is not in my life & my mother didn't remarry until after my sweetie proposed so he asked my grandfather. He did also ask my mom which i thought was really sweet!
michellef1122's Black wedding
 |  Clemmons, NC, USA  |  03/20/2009  | 
My FH asked my dad and my daughter.  It was a big deal for me with him asking my dad, and he went an extra step and asked my daughter!  I thought that was sweet!
pearaholic's Black wedding
 |  Calgary, AB, Canada  |  03/22/2009  | 
Mine did too.  My dad's answer was "Well that's really not my decision but its ok with me.  Maybe you should ask my wife (my mom)."  My FI did NOT ask my mom though because she intimidates the heck out of him (he wrangled for ages to get my dad alone because he knew it would be easier to ask him separately than if my mom was there!  :-)
kaylag's Red wedding
 |  Allentown, PA, USA  |  03/22/2009  | 
oh man i don't even want to go into this one haha. i posted about this a few weeks back. i am not engaged yet but i REALLY would like my fh to ask my father for my hand in marriage. i am not in the least traditional but it would mean a lot to my father which in turns means a lot to me. unfortunately, mh fh and father do not have a good relationships (or any relationship at all for that matter) so it is not likely that he will. i have been coming to terms with it and i believe when he does propose to me and tells me that he didn't ask my dad i will go with him and we'll ask my dad together but we'll act like we he hadn't proposed to me yet. hopefully my dad is okay with it though because it will break my heart if he's not but i'm getting married regardless of his consent or not.
specialk2122's Purple wedding
 |  Fountain hills, AZ, USA  |  03/24/2009  | 
My FH asked my dad a month before he asked me. I was totally surprised!  My mom & dad were really happy & surprised!
sweetlatina's Purple wedding
 |  West haven, CT, USA  |  04/03/2009  | 
He asked my father and gave us his blessing. I thought that was very gentlemanly like (is that a word? lol!). I don't recall him asking my mother but she had been waiting to get me married off :) She was thrilled that he asked me.
futuremrsniemann's Black wedding
 |  Round rock, TX, USA  |  04/15/2009  | 
My FH hasked my dad for my hand in marriage in 2006 & didnt actually propose until 2008! lol He wanted me to be COMPLETELY surprised so he waited and waited! lol ;) Im happy with the way it turned out though! :)
beccalind22's Orange wedding
 |  Geneseo, NY, USA  |  04/15/2009  | 
Jared purchased my engagement ring and hid it in our apartment for 3 months before he had the chance to ask my dad.  My dad lives in California, and was going to be coming here for my sister's wedding.  My dad flew in on a Friday night, and Jared was over there the next morning to ask him.  My dad said "If I say no, are you gonna marry her anyways?" and Jared said yes.  My dad then told Jared the same thing that my mom's dad told him 30 years ago......."Don't ever stop her from coming home, and don't ever hit her."  Jared asked me 3 days after my sister's wedding!
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futuresmrst
 |  USA  |  04/17/2009  | 
this actually is not MY first marriage (but it is OUR first time being married) so my FH asked for my father's blessing on Thanksgiving of last year while we were at my aunts house for dinner. My father is VERY important to me so I'm glad he asked for his blessing. My father is also one of his best men...along with his dad. I LOVE it!
hollycarb22's Pink wedding
 |  Glens falls, NY, USA  |  04/18/2009  | 
Yes:-) My parents are divorced so my sweet, sweet fiance called my mom first to ask her permission and then my dad. My mom said it made her cry when he asked her, awww.... When I called them (my mom  first, then my dad) to tell them Marcus had proposed, they already knew:-)

(He called them hours before he asked me to marry him because he was afraid someone would slip up if they knew ahead of time, lol). I love that he did that and am so happy he is that type of a man:-)
futuremrsk's Black wedding
 |  Edmonton, AB, Canada  |  04/30/2009  | 
YES. In my case it was my mom- since my dad is gone. She was very happy he came to her first. Only thing is I think dad's are better off at keeping it a secret. My mom almost let it slip a few times! :)
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