This is solost's White Wedding!

I have created a new account to post this one, because I am pretty sure that some of my friends and family know about my real one. Please ignore all the details to the right, none of them are real.

I'm a member here, and I post all the time. You girls have been incredible to me over the last year and I thank you for that. Now I come to you with something that has been weighing in my heart for a very long time.

I am not happy, and I want to call my wedding off.

FH and I have been fighting so terribly, and it's not just wedding related. It's been for about a year now, and it's only getting worse. We have been to a couples therapist, but it's not working, and even SHE advised us to call it off. She said that we are TOTALLY opposite personality types, and that there is almost zero chance we can ever be compatible.

My mom knows that we've been having issues, but that's all.

We have invested about $13,000 in the wedding so far, with a total of about $45,000 paid in the end, if we go through with it.

FH finally admitted tonight that he thinks we should postpone it, but I am firm in my believe that it's either on or off - I'm not telling all my friends and family that there is no wedding... and then doing it all again in a month or a year from now.

PLUS - my bridesmaids have already paid for their gowns. About 30 people have already paid $150 for their hotel room that night. And my mom has paid for most of our deposits, as well as my gown - a total of about $10,000 so far. It would ALL be lost, even if all we do is postpone. I'm not doing that to everyone, it seems so inconsiderate.

My first of three bridal showers is in 2 weeks, and I'm just very lost, depressed and desperate for answers. Every day that passes is costing more money, people are buying gifts from our registry and making plans... the guilt is killing me.

I am so unhappy, and while I DO love FH, it's just not working.

I don't know what to do. I'm just sitting here bawling.