Wedding Night

to wait or not to wait?

I definitely agree with you. I love the fact that your husband is the one that is going to take your virginity. I wish I could give that gift to my FH. It's the only gift that cannot be re-given.That's very special.

My FH and I were having sex, but we decided to practice abstinence until the wedding while we strengthen our relationship and our relationship with God. It's not easy, but God will bless us with many years of love and happiness to have all the sex we want lol. It's more to a relationship than just sex. I think some relationship probably wouldn't last if they took out the sex and that's sad. I am not free from sin, but I try daily to be a better Christian.

We have 128 days to go and I'm getting excited for the wedding and honeymoon lol

I love this and I applaud you for this. Unfortunately, times are changed, and to be honest, I think everyone is in a different place when it comes to this. I myself am a Roman Catholic to the fullest, but I am no virgin and it doesn't make me any less Catholic. I go to church every Sunday with my Fiancé and we pray with each other every night and morning. It’s a part of our love for one and other and it will be just as special on our wedding night.

But it's nice to see that people are still waiting. Happy planning ladies!

This is very good. I wish I could give my FH this gift as well. But, like joeyandmelissa said, the times have changed and everyone is definitely in a different place regarding this.

I just happen to be one of the people who "did it backwards". Do I regret my actions? NO! Because with my actions my FH and I produced 2 beautiful children that I wouldn't trade for the world.

I do applaud you and everyone else who is doing this. It is really special!

Thanks ladies!

I'm not saying you're a heathen if your not a virgin! You are very special and very beautiful and loved, virgin or not! I hope i didn't offend any body :)

I just wanted to take the opportunity to say how beautiful virginity is. I got made fun of a lot in my life because i didn't have sex but I'm so happy i waited :)

I love ALL you ladies and Our Lord does too! I pray that He will bless all your marriages abundantly!

Your such a sweetheart! No one is offended. I hope I didn't offend you. I was just speaking my personal preference.
May God bless us all!

And shame on those who made fun of you!! You stayed strong and true to yourself and the is all that matters :)

You be blessed what a precious gift..my fh and i because of our faith are waiting until were married.congrat on your wedding.

I wasn't offended at all...

i dont think the post was meant to offend and make anyone feel bad (i didnt) and with so many temptations coming at us on a daily basis and pressure from everywhere i see how easy it is to just do it or do it backwards as you say, BUT, i so agree with you and i dont clap out loud because am at work! LOL its so hard to be the one that "hasnt done it " nowadays but am proud of it and i cant wait for the day that i will be able to give it to my husband without fear or restraints!!! thank you for the post and reminder coz Lord knows it aint easy!!! thanks hun!!

and shame on those that made fun of you!!!

I didnt think any one *sounded* offended, i just said it again for safety :) afterall, this is a "friendly place for brides" so i dont want any one feeling like they arent completely precious and loved as a woman :D

thank you for all your encouraging words, girls! I am vigilantly praying for all future marriages and families!

Not to be so backwards, but I am so proud of it.  Kudos to you and your beliefs Sam, but I'm going to keep it plain and simple. I'm not going to share my religion, but I must test the grape to see if it's ripe. I would be highly dissappointed if I waited to our wedding night to explore one another. This is not veered to our military wives out there because they have to deal with this on a daily bases. Bless you.

Sam:
What happens if he was a flop on that special night.?

What happens if he was punney in the meat department?

What happens if he only gets his orgasm and you didn't?

What happens if it lasts for 2 minutes on that night?

What happens if you are so dissatisfied with him at all, after saying your heart felt vows of staying with him till death do us part? Suffer? Ignore it and tell him he was perfect?  Get him sex classes later on after having enough of it?

What happens if you guys talked about this special night and used abstinence and it dosn't stand up to what was said?

I'm sorry but this is almost a daily ritual for me and my husband to be. It releases a lot of tention and stresses these days. If I go 7 days without it, I'm cranky ans so is he. Now, I must say we are saving something special for our wedding night and that is "PURE RAW!" Yeap, baby. We use condoms and BC, but our wedding night we are getting all the juices and meat.

I want to be very happy with our upcoming years. He knows what I crave,, want, erges and makes that real. No exploring here, just get right to business!

Good luck to you and 20 years of abstinence. Wonderful news to know that some still do that.

WOW....AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL.
Its great to hear that someone (in these days and times) is trying to be spiritually correct about sex and marriage.I don't usually post comments on blogs but my wife showed this to me and i thought i would put my 2 cents in (lol).Someone commented on how it may be better to try sex out before you commit to the other person,with the concern that the sex may not be what you expected.
Well....if you've never had sex.....how can you know what to expect???Specifically in the case of two virgins.Two virgins can have sex for two minuets and in some cases be totally satisfied(reaching orgasmic completion)....in a case were one of them were not satisfied...that is when time and learning each other can play a major role,which in my opinion can be a good thing(learning together how to satisfy each other).this could possibly bring those two people closer together.
I am no saint...i had plenty of pre-marital sex in my life...i got married at 30 years old...nor am i some kind of religious fanatic...but i do believe in God and Spiritualism. and i do know that i could have had something possibly more special with me and my spouse both being virgins and only learning and knowing each other.
My hat goes off to you and your husband to be.may you both find Happiness,Content,and Satisfaction in a relationship that lasts forever and a day.

Sincerely,

The Man in the Mirror

What happens if he was a flop on that special night.?
its a learning experience for the both of us, who's to say that i wont flop? lol. I didnt wait for my spouse so i could have this intense, crazy sexual experience... I waited for him so that i could completely give him a part myself that has never been given to any other person on this earth. I did it so i could be exclusively close to him, and him alone. now whether is awkward and we have to work at it, or we're naturals, i will still get the privilege of being completely his alone.

What happens if he was punney in the meat department?
This honestly doesn't matter to me. I dont see it as a fault or failure. I love every thing about the way he was made. God knows my body isnt perfect by societies standards. Our love and desire for one another is NOT bound by societal definitions of 'sexy'

What happens if he only gets his orgasm and you didn't?
Again, its a learning experience for us both. This very well may happen since it takes longer to arouse a woman. We'll be on our honeymoon the next day. Hawaii is a beautiful place to try again ;) and again, its not really about the orgasm. Its about receiving my spouses gift of his body into my own in an exclusive intimacy :)))

What happens if it lasts for 2 minutes on that night?
i think some one mentioned this already, but we could both be completely satisfied after 2 mins and, so what? We love to cuddle. Since we havent been sexually intimate during our whole relationship, we know how to be loving towards each other without sex. Also, what if i have my period that night and i cant even have sex with him anyway? then 2 minutes/penis size/ single orgasms dont matter. You need to be able to achieve intimacy without sex. Its a HUGE part of marriage and of love... but it isnt everything.

What happens if you are so dissatisfied with him at all, after saying your heart felt vows of staying with him till death do us part? Suffer? Ignore it and tell him he was perfect?  Get him sex classes later on after having enough of it?
I think my answer to your previous answer kind of answers this, but i would like to say that lying is NEVER a good way to go concerning anything between you and your spouse. I probably will suffer the first couple times because its not something I'm used to doing. My lil virgin body will never have had to accommodate for intercourse before. However, my FH and I both being virgins, I expect us to be very gentle with eachother. He cares about me so much that he wants to do it for the rest of his life! Why would he not take care of me in sexual intimacy also? Now I'm not just assuming that what I'm saying is true, my FH and i feel very comfortable discussing these things since they will approach very quickly and it will be some thing new we have to figure out together.

What happens if you guys talked about this special night and used abstinence and it dosn't stand up to what was said?
We're very practical people. No one has made any crazy sexual promises. And, like i said earlier, i may have my period that night! We believe that consummating our marriage is highly important because its what reminds us of the vows we took, however, it is not a lustful inclination to be satisfied. for us it is a desire to be close to each other, and do what man and woman to to become mother and father together.

We will never use contraceptives because we feel that is putting something between the two of us. In the Roman Catholic church, you agree that children are a good of marriage and will not prevent each other from motherhood or fatherhood. This is a part of the catholic vows and it is one of the main things catholics [are supposed to] say "i do" to.

We will be using Natural Family planning when we are married in order to avoid conception until i am done with school. This means there are 8 days when i will be fertile that we CANNOT have sex. So we have to practice abstinence anyway! Marriage isnt a sexual free-for-all. If you go into it with this attitude, then you risk using your spouse simply for sexual gratification instead of a receiving of their person-hood into yours, which acts out the vows you made when you were married, in order to become mother and father together.

and when i say "backwards" I dont mean 'backwards according to soceital norms'. When you have sex your BODY LANGUAGE says this: i give myself [my body and fertility] completely to you, my spouse, because i love you and want to see your goodness reproduced in children.
When you have not made this vow verbally in marriage, then you are lying with your body. Think  about it, it makes sense. Also, if you use contraceptives, you are also lying with your body because you are not completely giving of yourself to your spouse. So you are 'backwards' because you are tying to confirm something with your body that is impossible to confirm outside of marriage!

That's all :) God Bless you all, and your marriages!

wow!! all i have to say is well said man in the mirror and sammielynn.... well done well done

thank you! i don't want to sound like i'm shoving my beliefs on people, but chastity is SO beautiful! and living chastely with my FH has made me sooooo happy! and it builds a strong foundation :D

thank you all for taking the time to read it. even if you disagree, it shows that you are open minded. God bless you and your future marriages! :)))

I definitely agree with you. Kudos, to you on saving your special gift for the love of your life. I gave my virginity to my fh when were in our teenage years. I felt that was some way special because he has really been the only guy I was dealing with. As me being a a future military wife, and by my fh being deployed I have been behaving myself, even though it is hard sometimes but, I know at the end it will be worth it in the end. It dont know how long I can hold out when he comes home at the end of the year. (lol) Being honest!!!! Once, he put that ring on this finger and we said I do that is a wrap it is on like popcorn (lol).. Good Luck to you diva

Sammlynn, Congrats to you and your FH!! This is such wonderful news! I am also a Christian except I go to church on Saturdays (Church of God 7th Day) anyway, I commend you on your beliefs! I also truly believe this as well.  I did loose my virginity to my FH, but since then, we are settling limits and saying no until we are married. It is very tough. The only reason that it happened is because we were going through a rough patch and the emotions and everything just happened to come out. I am glad it happened, but at the same time very sorry because I know it is wrong. My FH and I are also very young. I am 21 and he 20. We still have a ways to go until we get married.. Nonetheless, I know a girl who I went to college with that had been having sex since she was 13 or 14 with multiple guys! I was very disgusted by this. I was also disgusted that I had given up my virginity to my FH. However, at least it was ONLY to him. And as I say only, it is not to be taken lightly because we did have sex before marriage. Thank you for posting! Praying for you and yours to have a wonderful marriage! Pray for me and my FH as well, as we are doing some planning and are coming across some bumpy roads ahead.. God Bless in all thy ways.. xoxo