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Sex Tally: Attitude without it?

2 days!!! Tell him he is blessed LOL!!
Me and my FH have been together so long, the  kids, his awful hours..once every like 2 or 3 month!! NO LIE!! We just dont have time, we always just pass each other in the halls LOL
In the sex department we act like an old married couple already..
how do you even manage 2 times a week?
idk Im not much a sex person and either is the FH believe it or not..

I could go like 5 months without and be fine, then again I am not left any time to think about it LOL!

Yupppppppppppppppp! I agreee..Im like DUDE get over it. I dont get an attitude bc I dont mind NOT having it, LOL! Im just too tired most of the time, especially at the time of night he wants it..

ummmmmmm hummmmmmm  mine doesn't get an attitude but the second I walk in the house hes basically throwing himself at me and begging "So what are we doing tonight?" WTF? I know exactlly what thats about!!!!!   Good post girl Love itt!!!!!

All I can do is shake my head!! LOL Men...

nah, FH doesn't really make a big deal of it. we work really opposite hours so even though we live together we often don't see each other for days and days at a time. he understands that its not because i don't want to, its because i get home at 4am and he's asleep! we also spent 2 years of long distance together so he got used to weeks and weeks without even seeing each other. but when we do find time, we make good use of it ! ;)

LOL...YES I have seen this "attitude monster" that you're talking about before!!  It usually NEVER happens during the week (well...there was an exception to the rule last night hehe!!), so usually it happens 2 times over the weekend to make up for it I guess....which I'm completely FINE with!!  I'm not much of a sex person either...if it happens ok fine, but I can go a long time without it too.  Besides, I'm usually falling asleep by 10 pm on week nights...now this is usually just my little naptime on the couch cause hubby is a night owl...so then he usually wakes me up around 1 or 2 am to actually go get ready for bed.  Anyways, so I'm just dead tired during the week but he's not...I think he might have insomnia actually lol!!  Anyways, so I have definitely gotten plenty of attitude midweek before and then he goes on this guilt trip where he says the reason he can't fall asleep at night is cause he's frustrated and he's got all this pent up sexual energy or something from nothing happening and it'll keep him up all night (or at least he says it will) if something doesn't happen!!! WTF?!?!  So I have to wake my tired @$$ up so that he can fall asleep, and then I'm the one that ends up being tired all day the next day?!?!  (Last night wasn't one of those times though...no attitude thank goodness...he just basically got right to "work" on getting me in the mood so there was no discussion about it even happening...it just happened lol!!).  

PS - My b-day is May 6th...thanks for asking!!  The WBC birthday list still isn't getting off to such a great start but I'm still trying!!

haha that's more me than him...but if we're really feeling it but just don't have the time together then we'll make an 'appointment' (it's not as weird as it sounds) but we'll be like "snuggle time tomorrow?"  (we'll use different but equally as lame words as "snuggle time" btw) and it just kinda lets the other person know that "hey I need some lov'n or just some 'us time' and it makes us make more of an effort the next day...we just kinda make that day more of a 'date night' whether it's a nice dinner at home, a movie on the couch or whatever it's some "us time" , we don't force the nooky to happen but we kinda go into the 'date' in a 'sexier' mood.
honestly try it before you knock it!!

We talked about this before we we're married as well (how often we both expect it, what happens if one of us feels that they're needs aren't being met when it comes to sex...stuff like that)

Whoa Unpredicatablebride!  LOL  I wish I could get by on that month spread!

Mrscosta to be: That's the smoothest line I've heard. Love it! I hear ya Futuremrsmarin! LOL! Futuremrscarter..Keep on shaking that head, LOL! Imbabyblue4u: Love the Attitude Monster name! HA! Sabrinav: Appointments is an interesting way?  Hummm?

YES,YES AND YES! MINE DOESN'T THINK HE SHOULD GO WITHOUT IT FOR MORE THAN 2 DAYS....I'M LIKE GEEZ GIVE ME A BREAK!

AMEN!!! my sista!

Girl, this has been one of the biggest problems.  I have one of those type men, and on top of that the church has told us we can not do anything until the wedding (1 year from now). Let's just say he did not take it to well, while i was trying to make a thank you basket for the church, lol.  I am just not a sex person either, and now that we have stopped that, he wants to cuddle ALLL the time, the most uncomfortable positions you can think of! And just like im2babyblu4u said, he has to wake me up at like 4 am to get me to "help" him get to sleep, and then I am left awak and don't have to get up until 7!! (and of course can't get back to sleep until like 6:30).

Thank you for this post!!!  I have actually been looking up info to check my libido because mine is so low, and his is so high it causes a real big strain.  He wants it like 6 times a week, and I want it maybe one every 2 or 3 weeks. BIG DIFFERENCE! And very hard to compromise.

ohh my i must be one of those brides that says lets do it... we might not have "sex" but we play with each other and masturbate infront of each other. a lot of times im so tired that he does it in front of me and we are good... but there are time where i just need it and he is there lol..

for us sex is a big part of our relationship. Both are big on cuddling and use sex as a stress releaver... plus we just love it, lol im not going to lie!

he is really good about it when im on my period but if i dont want to do it he freaks and thinks there is something wrong.. lol... all men are like that...

I dont think I have ever had to have that conversation with my FH, He is very understanding when I have my period..he doesn't pester me or even make comments if he doesn't get anything.. and to be honest,,, i dont think that i have ever turned him down, or he turn me down. We are two very sexual people and like ikaufman08, said.. it is a big part of our relationship. He works shift work, and  we end up not getting to see one another for several days at a time, so we do have 'date nights' one night a week we have time for the two of us. movie, hells kitchen, nice dinner, what ever we end up doing it doesn't matter, we have our time together.
So as for the attitude? i think i get more of an attitude when i dont get what i want, or its been awhile more so than he does.

yes! He definitely gets an attitude. I dont like it..EVERY DAY like him..once or twice a week is fine with me..but he is like a rabbit! I dont want it to get boring.

I even wanted to wait..at least a month b4 the wedding. but he is NOT having it!

I say just talk to him about it.  When we moved in together 3 years ago things changed a bit.  It was once or twice a week normally but got to be once a month or so. He was getting pissy and it clicked one day what it was about. So, I called him out on it and told him I needed him to be more mature and compassionate to my feelings and emotions or he wasn't getting it ever again and could walk out the door.  That's dumb to base a relationship on sex.  I was going through a bunch of stuff at at the time and did not feel like being physical and that's my right to feel that way and my decision.  If you ever feel pressured to do that you are going to build up resentment.  And, there's so much more to being in love!!! Women are just made up different.  Sex is more about connecting emotionally with us.  Men are just wanting to connect physically and feel wanted.  Research it and tell him that what you find about it to make him understand and know and realize he has to be more supportive.  If that's a problem now it's only going to get worse when you are married and getting older.  I didn't read the other comments, so sorry if I'm echoing someone else.

Oh goodness. I am about to embarrass the hell out of myself here....but I am the one the gets the attitude! Now, it's not like 2 days on the dot but if we go awhile without some 'special time' I get a little grumpy! he tells me that I am insatiable! I just tell him he is sexy! ;)

I agree with kmritch-- I am the one who gets an attitude.
When we first started dating, he couldn't keep his hands off of me, then when I moved in with him for the first two months it was like we were on our honeymoon! Now, after living with him for 2 years, our sex life has dwindled down to once a month. He works full time and says he's too tired--but when I wake up in the middle of the night and see him watching tv, I just get resentful... and then I have attitude for the next day. I have tried talking with him about how I feel, but it seems to have no effect.  =(

Yes.

The period has never interfered with us. Just never bothered either of us.

But last week, I was at a very exhausting conference, and the Mr. was staying in the hotel with me. I made the mistake of hinting I was in the mood, but he was busy... so I went to bed. The next three days, I was COMPLETELY exhausted, so he didn't get any then...

And I noticed these three days AND the fourth day that he was being a COMPLETE JERK. I couldn't even STAND how MEAN he was being! Every little thing made him snap, and I couldn't figure it out! Finally, when we were fighting, he shouted something along the lines of, "you told me THREE DAYS AGO you were going to make love to me and you HAVEN'T!!!!!!"

So THAT'S the problem?! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT INSTEAD OF BEING AN INTOLERABLE JERK? I'd have fixed this DAYS ago! He was fine afterward and was immediately in a better mood, but just URGH.

Before I get started..great post!

I'm in the same boat as kmritch and mrsbrett.  It's me not him.  I LOVE sex! Wait, let me rephrase that I LOVE SEX!! The more the better - can't get enough. I tease him all the time about buying those pills that claim to increase a woman's sexual desire..he said that if I did he'd have a heart attack. He considers himself lucky because any time he wants "it" he's got it..don't have to ask me twice or beg that's for sure 3:30 in the morning..no problem I'm game.  

And yes, I get a little grumpy if I go to long with out it. Well, not really grumpy I just give him a slight cold shoulder and keep my conversations very short in a sweet voice - he knows all my tricks...lol

I do however prefer to have sex on the weekends. I'm a Friday and Saturday type of person regardless and I have this thing where I would rather not have sex during the week if that means having a weekend full of hot, sweaty passioniate loving making.  To keep things extra "hot" we sometimes go to a hotel for a weekend whether the location is 10 minutes or several hours from home.

Ok..you guys now know my plans for this weekend.

I'm the one with the attitude. I guess I'm way different from most women. I could do it like 5 times a day! I want it all the time! FH says he can't keep up with me. If I have to go more than 24 hours or so I'm grumpy and snappy.

I NEVER turn him down! If he wants it, we do it. We do have a great relationship outside of sex, I just have a very active drive. I don't want anyone saying that our relationship is based on sex, because it isn't. There have been times where we've gone about 2 or 3 weeks between, but only once or twice. I think we're nicer to each other when we have sex regularly. I have anxiety so regular sex really helps me. We joke that I'm really the man in the relationship when it comes to sex.

okay rodhonda4ever,

after keeping up with this post because this has been a very hot topic in my home, I am reading some of this post and trying not to make the snootie face, lol.

First, let me start by saying I love all the women on here, but I am feeling like such an old hen reading some of the last 5 comments.  I should be in a rocking chair watching the college freshman prance around one their boyfriends backs.  Again, love all my brides on here!

I am just curious of an age check.  I have actually gone as far to research why my libido is out of wack and there are ladies on here saying they can go 5 times a day.  Heck I was feeling pretty normal when I started reading this, and now I feel like I need to grab an ensure.

By the way I am 26 yrs old, FH is 27.  He wants it 4 to 6 times a week, I only want it maybe 1 every two or three weeks.

help me out ladies tell me this an age thing or something.

Rmmharrison: You know what, when I was your age I was basically at my sexual peak. I wanted it more and more until about 35 after having all my children. If you don't have children yet and your sex drive is low, it really shouldn't be...Not unless you are working a double shift type of job, going to school etc. Even with me being a student then, I was still at the sexual peak in my life. Back then I was with a jerk of a husband, until me any my Hubby now met up when I turned 30. MAN, when that happened my sexual desire was accomplished and very much satisfied. Maybe you should try some new things, places to bring more excitement and make sure that you are very much satisified first, before FH satisfies himself. Just try something different? Make sure to take some vitamins too, they can give you more energy!

rmmharrison don't feel like an old hen!! Sex is a very personal matter, not just the act itself, not two ppl are ever truley the same. I am 27 and the FH is 31. You work out what's best for you, your FH and your relationship. If you are satisfied, then that's all that matters. I am a very physical person, I like to hold hands with my man, we still sleep in the center of the bad, snuggled up to each other, I hug my friends and family on a regular basis....I think that makes me sex more 'of a big deal' to me. It's not just about the pleasure but the connection as well.

well, that brings in a whole new problem. I peaked 2 - 3 years ago.  I have been in (2) 3 year relationships, and well lets just say I was not shy in the bedroom so alot was accomplished.  I love my man, but I feel like he is obsessed with me sometimes, and that turns me off.  And then when he catches an attitude it turns me off for like a whole week.  Im hot, but im not that hot.  I am used to a little challenge, I talked to him about it, and his version is to turn in to a complete @ss!  We have counseling on Tuesday, hopefully they will help us identify this problem.

I hear you Rmmharrison! Obsessed can be a good thing in a way. He wants you and loves only you. You can compromise with him on a few suggestions, but if he really wants it that much...Sounds like he needs something to do to satisfy these urges? Like be more involved with the wedding planning? That alone is very straining and tiring. LOL DO YOU HEAR ME GIRLS! I notice if my hubby is bored in a way, he's more tuned on! So, keeping him active and busy is a good thing too. Give him some of your strain and let him take his mind off of things? BUT, remember that's only a temporary stall. When it's all over with the wedding, he maybe at top peek again? Discuss this in the counseling session. They might tell you there is something wrong with you? I'm not saying that, but...it could turn back on you.

I think we need to keep in mind that everyone is different - like kmritch said "no two people are alike" and that goes for relationships.

I'm 29 and my hubby is 42 (our wedding was on 9/26/09).  I'm a sexual person - always have been. We have kids and I was like this before and continue to be the same. Again, like kmritch said we hold hands, hug, kiss (pda - public displays of affection) snuggle, etc.  It's just us.  We're best friends too and that's the most important part.

I sometimes think there is something wrong with me.  Why is my sex drive/sexual desire in over-drive? Again, we're all different in our own way.  It doesn't mean that one person is better than the other.  We're all amazing...aren't we? at least I think so.

YES!!! If it's like 2 or 3 days he's like... "we haven't had sex FOREVER!!!" lol!! and i'm like... we just did two days ago!! lol!! he is ALWAYS  in the mood... and i rarely am!! i just have a lot of self confidence and self esteem problems that i just don't ever feel like it... ( FYI... i have been suffering with anorexia and bulimia for over 5 years) Then he gets mad and thinks it's because i'm not attracted to him... but I am!! he's SOOO cute!!! lol! Love him soo much! can't wait to marry him!

Straight up attitude in 1 day? If he don't get it in 12 hours, he has an attitude. Remember, I'm the one that posted about "How long is to long?" My man goes for hours and hours and it's rediculous! Now, if Aunt Flo comes, I'm considered to be on vacation every month. Sad, but true! If we do it everyday, he's on cloud nine. I personally can go about 2 x's a week, like Rmmharrison. I feel ya, girl!

No he doesn't but if its been a while he'll usually set something up like lighting a bunch of candles in the bedroom or leaving a trail of post its with love notes towards the bedroom. I think I may actually get more of an attitude when I want it and its been a while but he knows me so well he always pick up on things so we've been fine in that department :)

I have never gotten an attitude from him.  We both work lomg hard hours and are understanding when each other needs sleep.  We have sex regularly and that is fin for both of us.  I actually think I might want it more often then him, believe it or not.
As for "that time of month"  I dont make him suffer just cause Im out of commission.  He gets taken care of once or twice during that week and he never has complaints.  I think he rathers enjoys it because it is really all about him he can just lie back and totally relax and enjoy himself with out having to exert any effort.   My soon to be hubby has a very stressful job (FBI agent in anti-terorism) so sometimes he just needs that kind of attention.  And whats better is when Im back in the game he really puts in a bigger effort to please me.  I have to say Im pretty happy with our sex life.  He is the first man I've been with who really gives me what I need!  Thats why Im marrying him!

Really good thread. Well in our case, we both want it atleast 2-3 times a week. I'm not in mood sometime and he is..
but I usually don't say no rather ask him to help me, which could take long sometimes LOL..Ok, my long is more than 40 minutes of foreplay to take me there. But he never force it on me or shows attitude. I'm usually pissed when I want it and he says he is tired and sleep right away.
I don't think I can go without it for more then a week ;)

We got to stay strong girls! This shows that some of us women are different but the marjority of us are in the same boat! WE MUST LOVE OUR MEN, LADIES!

I Honestly Havent Sex With My FH In About 2 months, I Was Diagnosed With A Chronic Illness And NO Physical Activity For 3 months Haha...He Is Really Pissy About It

Wowie Kayladawl! Sorry to hear that, or is it kind of a blessing from my point?  Hope you heal soon.

Its the other way around with my fiance and I... I don't try for it mind you but when it's up to him it only happens once a week... I've told him a hundred times and he tries to blame me... something to work on I guess lol. It is frustrating, really frustrating

Pookylaa!!!

I'm speechless! You go girl!

It's funny how when my FH and I first got together, for about the first year and a half he was the one who was always trying to get me into bed, then for the next year and a half it was me going, "C'mon, I want sex more, why don't you want it". We are going through a current phase of just fucking like rabbits on the weekend when neither of us has a schedule, with some perks in between. Sexual balance is such a strange thing.

My Fh doesn't get an attitude after 2 day...but he will be all up in my face, but as long as he gets some a couple times a week he is ok. If he doesn't, than yes he gets a little pissy attitude.

Ewwww, this conversation is smokin hot!  I remember my first marriage was like that in the beginning, Sravll. Unfortunately it was at least 3 times a week while dating, then we married and it went to 2 x's a week then once a month, then to eventually once every six months, then to once a year...but he had health issues that were ignored. This time around for the past 10 years, I can say we've been like jack rabbits too,  I've been blessed because he gets an attitude every couple of days if nothing happens. I'm crazy about my honey...I went from none to OMGood Lord?  LOVE OUR MEN LADIES!

Sunshine112109: Haayyyyy! It's so good to see that you have joined in the discussion. And WE ARE NOT ALONE! Keep our men HAPPY GIRLS! REALLY...

Girl! I feel this move on the character. LOL  This makes me laugh my A#@ off! You are crazy!

Ladies, this topic is hot!!! My FH & I probably have sex once every other week (of course not including my off week visit from Aunt Flo). And that's sometimes it's because of me........well listen, he gets days off during the week, I work a "regular" work week & have weekends off.  If Im tryna sleep (I start work @ 8) my FH will be all up in my grill, feeling me up & I'll be like, Babe.....I have to wake up early man, c'mon.  But sometimes, because I want to keep thing fresh, I will pretend like I'm sleeping, he'll try to do the same old tricks & BAM! there I am in a leopard print bustier w/matching undies.  The other times, he's like, yeah babe, 2night's for us and then all I hear is snoring.  We try to "schedule" time 2gether as someone else mentioned.

well honestly... it maybe happens in our house once every 1 month... he works night shift, i work day shift, and it just doesn't happen.

So my FH and I haven't had sex yet, but I'm continually worried that it will be me who is insatiable. lol.  I just am such a sexual person. He can be, too, but he's more practical. He's more likely to turn down the opportunity for sex because it's late and he has to work the next morning. I'm all for spontaneity and I worry that I'll want it, he won't want it, then I'll get frustrated and when HE wants it I'll be too mad to let him but then just make myself worse because inside I want it. ROFL. I can't believe I'm worked up about a scenario I don't even know will happen.
So that's my story, but if I'm wrong about him and he wants it all the time like your typical guy then I think I'll be fine with that, lol.

dirtndiamonds: you are too funny, the one thing about not doing it YET though...the first bit you'll both want it like rabbits! It'll be new, exciting and you'll be learning what you both like and don't like.
BUT I would still make sure you talk about it before you get married with your fiancee...it's just good to go into a marriage with the same expectations about sex...talk about as much as you can now, and then when you're married and have these problems where one person isn't 100% satisfied it'll be easier to talk about them

We BOTH get cranky.   Our libidos are evenly matched and 2 days is about as long as we can go.  My periods have never been normal so we rarely have that week to worry about.  It's a free for all, all the time!  28 & 28 btw.  My sex drive has been about the same since puberty as far as I can remember.

NOPE IM THE ONE THAT GETS THE ATTITUDE 2 DAYS IS A LONG TIME STOP HOLDING OUT LOL!!