12/26/2009
From hyperventilating and anger to acceptance and honor.
From hyperventilating and anger to acceptance and honor.
  

I'm in a Glass Box of Emotion
It's Mind Bottling!

Aside from the movie Anchorman, I really feel as though I've been through an entire roller coaster of emotion this past 24 hours. I have come from hyper-ventilating and oh-so-angry to understanding, acceptance, and feeling honored.

What? Huh? You may ask?

It all started with an innocent telephone call to my mom wishing her a wonderful Christmas, catching up on everyone's Christmas bootie, and making sure that my recipients loved what I gave them. (Our large family has a sort of round-robin method of drawing names for Christmas. I really miss not being at the family gathering when everyone opens the presents because the best part is seeing the looks on everyone's faces when they open a package of something that they really wanted.)

Eventually our talk came to wedding talk with her asking how I was doing, if I needed to have anything taken care of last minute...Gee, my Mom knows me well. There's plenty left to do! :)

She then brings up the interesting new news that my brother's new girlfriend will be attending the wedding (this was BRAND NEW news to me.... I had asked him 3 separate times and the answer was always that she would not be attending) and that one of my mom's friends will be coming as well. RAD, I'm thinking! I would love to meet this new girlfriend and also to see Mom's friend!!

Then.....

..... she tells me that two these people will also be staying at my house. ...HOLD THE BUS....Along with my BFF, BFF's sister and mother and two sons, plus my mom and dad, my brother... my two greyhounds... and .... me (hopefully). That's 11 people in my house which is a 1926 bungalow. People did not live in ginormous houses with multiple bathrooms in the 20's....AND my house is in a renovating dissarray that has been going for the past year!?!?!? It is at this point in time that I really am actually starting to hyperventilate. I hastily tell my mom that I have GOT to hang up and go to bed. Just had to get off the phone before I started crying with her on the line.

The second I hang up my telephone, I start crying because I really do want to have all these people stay at my house (cheaper option for everyone) but that I only have two full beds, one air bed, and a couch. The math for fitting bodies on beds is not adding up in my hyperventilating hot mess. Really, I need about 4 more beds to accomodate all these bodies.

Quickly my hyperventilation and panic recedes into anger: How come housing all of these people has become my problem and why am I freaking out about other peoples' issues? It's MY wedding (oh yeah.... Bridezilla rears her ugly head) and I don't want to deal with this mess. In hindsight, I'm glad I hung up and I was home alone with the dude - to just listen to me blubber and hyperventilate (I'm pretty sure I was absolutely incoherent between the sobs and wheezing).

I really do not know how I fell asleep in the midst of this panic and hyperventilation. I can tell you that I did not sleep well.

Well, the next day was just way too busy running errands with the dude to reflect on how I felt about this whole situation so I didn't get to re-visit anything until this evening when I was sewing napkins.

I tell you one thing ladies: sewing is therapeutic. Promise. It keeps me sane and makes me a better person. :)

After sewing for a good hour with no interruption by any human being (awesome!) I had come to the simple conclusion that I am going to get 2-3 hotel rooms nearby, put up my mom and dad, brother and his GF as well as one of my bridesmaids with her dude-friend, call it a day and it will all be rad. Everything will be just fine.

You know it really is embarrassing when confronted by an akward situation and then to react like I did. I am really lucky that my dude tolerates me and my tendancies to over-react and flip out about things that really do not require such attention. I am fortunate that I was able to step back, take a breath, and look at the situation from the outside: these people want to participate in something special to me.

Really, it is quite honorable that all of these people would like to be with us on this incredibly special day. The day that I get to tell my best friend that I am going to spend forever with him and that I want him to be my partner against the world.

I really am so incredibly blessed to have the people in my life that I do.
<3 And I really love hotels. Like Alot. alot...
lagaylemarie's Black wedding
 |  Encinitas, CA, USA  |  12/26/2009  | 
Well alrighty, good for you.  You're a smart lady to have hung up with mum and let all the venting out. We do so much better when we just exhale and think. And like you said, you are blessed that all those people want to be at your wedding and are pinching pennies to come, and were also willing to be cramped up in your cute little house.

Congrats on having some really awesome folks in your life!
stbmrslynn's Purple wedding
 |  Dallas, TX, USA  |  12/27/2009  | 
It should feel really great to know that you can be really great to people even through anger and at a very emotional time.you are a wonderful woman it seems and its wonderful to see that the people you love the most feel the same way about you.Im glad you took time out to reflect on all the good things in your life .You are truly Blessed.
sarahdarling's Black wedding
 |  Toronto, ON, Canada  |  12/27/2009  | 
first of all..."mind bottling"...ha! nice...

and now, i don't know what it is with people who want the bride to solve all the problems. i always thought that people would come with solutions, ah well...we can't change our loved ones. sounds like you got it figured out there, but i can totally understand your frustration with the whole situation.
bananapants's Green wedding
 |  Minneapolis, MN, USA  |  12/27/2009  | 
Um, I love you.  That is all.

...Well, ok, I'll add this - you and I seem to be so much alike it's almost scary!  :)
renorx's Yellow wedding
 |  Phoenix, AZ, USA  |  12/28/2009  | 
Thanks for the support girls :) Makes me feel like less of a jerky.
sunshinerae's Pink wedding
 |  Aurora, IL, USA  |  01/03/2010  | 
eeek, you are not a jerky at all!  lol my eyes popped out of my face when i saw the part about them staying at your house!  i'm sure everything's super stressful right now but it will all work out.  i am sooo looking forward to seeing your wedding pics, everything you've done is so beautiful and creative!!!

hang in there these next few days, your wedding is going to be STUPENDOUS!  : )
's  wedding
Becky
 |  Hollister, CA, USA  |  01/18/2010  | 
Michonne I love you, I am sorry that this was so stressful for you.  But I do recall you insisting on me staying with you.  I am glad that it all worked out in the end.  If something is too much for you then you need to let us know.  We all love you and will understand.  We too love to stay at hotels, I would have understood if you felt overwhelmed.
renorx's Yellow wedding
 |  Phoenix, AZ, USA  |  01/20/2010  | 
I heart you Beck - you never stress me out.
I miss you ;) and the boys.
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