"Bachelor Party"

Is your man wanting strippers?

I am, because it would be hilarious. He would be totally against the idea (the strippers) because he HATES being the centre of attention, and around here the idea of having a stripper at the bucks night is to embarrass the buck as much as possible. I'm not worried about him being aroused by other women, it's a fact of life it's going to happen. As long as he comes home to me at the end of the night! I'm making it quite clear that I want topless male waiters at my hens night (I find male strippers really disgusting so have banned them) and he'll be fine with it, because he knows it's harmless fun.

FRIG THAT!! Not allowed at all..I will also be playing the same game if this topic comes up lol

IT'S FORBIDDEN IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.  By BOTH of us. My hubby HATES strippers. He is extremely passionate when he lectures his friends about how even though you may see a stripper as a nice girl, she is selling a form of sex for money and that is prostitution. I don't believe it's appropriate for someone who is already commited to purposely go out of his way to enjoy a sexual fantasy with another woman. it's cheating. Besides, it's PROVEN that adultery happens on bachelor parties way more than we'd like to admit. Look up the statistics and ask a stripper. I've spoken to strippers (yes I have friends who strip) and they will tell you that strippers compete to see who can get the grooms to cheat. It's a challenge to them. They enjoy it.

well, i really dont want him too but i know he plans on doing that anyway......

mikaela CA strip clubs dont go down like you think yours does, LOL I can see being attracted to some one but sexually arroused? you say, thats"life" no no no see thats a problem thats like saying your man can go to work and get hard looking at a co worker and its okay! not cool.

No way... end of story... if he wants a stripper ill buy a home pole kit and strip for him myself...LOL That should be all he needs anyway besides if my man comes home all horny from another women and wanting me to take care of his business he better believe he will be sleeping alone that night. I think its disrespectful b.c he can get what he wants from me, and he can feel free to throw money at me any time I can use it to buy more bubbles for my wedding favors lol.

maybe I need to clarify... I'm talking about a bucks night where a stripper is hired to "entertain" or embarrass the buck, not going to a strip joint to put money down some random chicks g-string on a regular saturday night... If he did that I would be pretty pissed off.

I think it's getting into semantics here, but I'd rather my partner be aroused by a girl then be attracted to them. Attraction applies a personal connection. But that's just my opinion!

I am totally against strippers. Not because I'm worried he wants to cheat on me, just because I think its gross! I don't want a male stripper at my bachlorette, even though my girls are all for it! Why would you want a gross guy or girl to rub there dirty jiggly bits on you when they've probably touch 20 other people that night ... EW I've let my bridesmaids know, if a stripper comes to my bachlorette party I'M OUTTY! haha

My FI does not like strippers, he thinks they are dirty (and he's not just saying that to make me happy). But unfortunately his best man is all about the "rippers" as he likes to call them...so I can pretty much guarantee thats what will be planned for my FI's bachelor party. I don't really care about him being sexually aroused by a stripper. Really it's no different than starring at a woman with big breasts in public and being sexually aroused. My only condition is no lap dances. Lol, I don't think it would bother my FI that much if my girls and I were to go get full body massages, unless I were to go alone. it would probably backfire on me.

No, he doesn't want them.  I would not be cool with it if he did and I certainly would not be afraid to tell him so.  I think he is going boating and waterskiing for his party.

i dont know if he wants strippers, at first he kept telling me he didnt even want a bachelor party because he knew his friends were going to want strippers which he thinks is a waste of money to get girls to turn you on then send you home...wait i just got that..what is he expecting?! anyways, this week he's changed his tune now, hes saying his friends will force him to go vegas. i told him i'll see him there cuz i'm going to go see the thunder from down under...although i think if i really did i would be giggling in the corner.

Could not care less.  Remember he's marrying you!

Me personally I really dont have a problem with it because I am very secure in my relationship and I know the stripper ain't got nothing on me...LMBO!!!  but if thats what his guys choose to do  then Im okay with it. No headache or loss sleep for me.

I don't really care either. I want him to have a fun and wild time since he never really gets to do that anymore. I know that some of the groomsmen's wives are completely against it and from what I've overheard about that...it's a don't ask, don't tell policy for that one night. I know all of those guys very well, and there is no one in the world that is sexier to them than their wives. It's just a bonding thing...

I guess I'm one of the rare girls who doesn't worry about my FH going to a stripper. He has never expressed any interest in it. He is very allowed to have a stripper bachelor party, because you know what? I am his little freak, why would he need another girl to do what I can?

Heres what I think. Back in the day, men would get married  to a 'perfect sweet little wife', and he would always see her as a 'perfect sweet little wife'. But, men are men, and they all have fantasys, some of them more elaborate than others. They could not FATHOM asking their perfect wife to act out their fantasy! It's almost as if they didn't think that their wife was capable of something kinky or even WANTING to! So, they go to a stripper or prostitute, who they KNOW will do something exotic. Meanwhile, perfect little wifey is COMPLETELY capable of being a little freak in the bed, but hubby never asked!

Keep the communication alive and your husband will know that you will be his little vixen always, not just a fantasy that has to be fufilled with another woman.

I honestly don't really like the idea of a stripper, but if that is what happens at his bachelor party then fine whatever. I am not a jealous person & I trust him with my heart. He really isn't in to all of that stripper stuff anyways. It would most likely be his friends' idea if it were to happen.
We are having separate parties though because i have had friends who had joint parties & ended up getting in a huge fight because one or the other was drunk & things went crazy. lol

I guess it all depends on everyones feelings towards strippers..

He's already expressed he doesn't want them, & told me he doesn't want me having them.  Guess I'm lucky there.  Now it's just getting our wedding party to understand that, because we both have friends whom would love strippers..........  It's a tricky subject.... because in the end, it's not about our men, it's about their friends & the strippers who are the bad influence.....  Vintage babe is right, some strippers enjoy being the one to make your good guy stray (or is he good?) LOL...

I wouldn't care. I've been to female strippers nore than my fh has. Funny enough I have never seen male ones. My fh will prob not even want them but really I would have no problem with it at all. I'm wierd like that though. His ex is invited to the wedding and regulary comes over our place. I am good friends with all my ex's and have gone for breakfast with my fh and ex etc. I just really don't get bothered by that stuff.

when you look online for bachelorette party goods you find hilarious plastc penis straws and silly games to play.. when you look for bachelor party goods you find CONDOMS. Flavored ones at that.  And usually the site will even say maybe the groom will get lucky enough to use them. HMMMMMMMMM. wonder why they would need flavored condoms???? Strippers are for single guys. Not men who are beginning their commitment. But I am also a christian and I think the entire idea is completely ungodly and disgraceful. It's live porn. It's all about lust. It's just plain yucky.

Did you guys know a popular bachelor party game is for strippers to give the guys flashlights while she masterbates with a vibrator and they all shine the light at her cooch so they can watch and she'll even fake an orgasm?????? Look it up. A stripper I personally know said they are called Toy Shows. She hates men! She's a lesbian. She became a lesbian after she started stripping because she said she realized what hogs men are. I feel sorry for her actually. But she sure shines some "light" pun intended... on what goes on at bachelor parties. And many many strippers will have to drink or take drugs to do their job. And many of them were sexually abused as little girls. Which is why they got in the sex industry in the first place. Look up Shelly Lubben online. She is a former stripper who turned porn star. She was famous in the early 90's. She'll tell you what happens as bachelor parties and what strippers are up to at those parties. It makes you think.

oh yea another popular bachelor party game.. actually two...

your FIANCE who you love lays on the floor.. a completely naked stripper places a rolled up dollar bill in his mouth.. and she squats over his face so she actually touched his face with her vagina and she takes the dollar bill out of his mouth with her VAGINA! (this is ALL true! Look it up!) The game is titled "feed the kitty".

game two. She puts a lollypop in his mouth and she squats over it and screws the lollipop right in his face and then she gets up and HE EATS IT!!!

And the strippers allow men to lick whipped cream off their nipples.....


I hardly call that harmless. It's cheating. and it's gross.

and I wanted to clarify before anyone thinks this is about my self esteem. My husband will be the first to tell you, I'm NOT prude. I know sex is a gift from God and believe, my man gets that gift from me. My hatred towards strippers comes from the entire concept of what stripping is, and the fact that when you hire a stripper, you are funding a very sad industry that has trapped many helpless women and pushed them into prostitution, and porn.

I say ladies, get yourself a stripper pole, get some lingerie and take dance classes if you want and give your man the sex he wants.. from YOU!

PS redroses, I thoroughly enjoyed your full body massage by an all male staff come back. that was great LOL!!!

momachas05, you should do that! LOL He would worship the ground you walk on!!

mikaela I respect you and your opinion now heres mine I feel if a man is sexually aroused he has already passed the "attration" phase thats the begining of anything if YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE YOUR NOT GOING TO BE SEXUALLY ARROUSED BY THEM RIGHT????  yeah. I mean think about it, the nerdy guy you run into in life is not going to make you hot for him but some man your type will? it all begins with attraction then sexual thoughts follow!

here's my two cents..  i see where everyone is coming from but this is what i think:

i'm fine with strippers!

guys who watch strippers just like to fantasize.. if anything, id feel insecure about whether or not my body was good enough compared to people whose body is their living.  but that's something i need to resolve within myself.
also with the bachelor party (and his friends bachelor parties somewhere down the line..) its a guy thing.  if my girls got me strippers and drinks, i wouldn't want him telling me i couldn't have a good time with them.  these kindsa things are more exciting in groups...

ps:
as for all the cheating that goes on... i for one completely trust my husband-to-be that he won't cross that boundary.  i know he doesn't want strippers at all and especially not to cheat.  BUT if a guy can't help himself at his bachelor party then i couldnt trust him in life either.  yes the stripper tried to get him to cheat but at the same time im not going to try to block out everything that can tempt him.  what does that prove?  nothing, just that he isn't sleeping with strippers when you won't let them anywhere near him.  (or he did get strippers and you're even more clueless as to what your guy is doing...)
just my opinion.

I just don't want to support the sex industry that has so many women trapped, abused and raped. Women who were sexually abused growing up, who are simply reabusing themselves again. Women who are notorious for drinking and drugs and eating disorders. (sorry but's it true... not ALL strippers, but many many). Many stripper admit they have to drink or use drugs to do their job. Strip clubs are NOT glamorous. Strippers don't have those fancy dressing rooms they show on TV! That's Hollywood! Many strippers feel STUCK doing they are they are. Think about it.... what are the chances of a stripper leaving the sex industry and getting a normal job? How many normal places look at "stripper" as a last occupation and have the least bit of respect for a woman to hire her!? And that whole ideal that strippers are putting themselves through college, it's sooooooo rare. And so many of those girls who have that intention, become drug addicts, and drop out of college! Ask a hooker or a call girl how she got started, chances are, she was a stripper. It's an evil industry. If we continue to feed it with money, it's just going to keep growing.

He's not into them at all!!!! Lucky Me!  He's going fishing for his and im have a sluber party pretty much like we did when we were like say 12!!! yep and im so excited.

And I think there are many other classy ways we can show our love and trust to our men that doesn't involve feeding the evil sex industry.

I don't want to sign in on my account and be bothered....

I stripped in my late teens and early twenties. I know what the industry is like. please don't hire strippers. stripping is not healthy. we used to say its our body and we can do what we want with it. that was until we got out of hand. it always gets out of hand. thats like saying a druggie is ok because they want to do heroine so just let them. lots of strippers trick on the side for extra cash. just don't do it. strip club owners are pimps.

"embarrased", I am so sorry if i have offended you with my comments. I hope you will still participate in this group and continue to plan your wedding. From what I read in your post, you are no longer stripping. But thank you for letting a little insight in on this! Have you heard of Shelley Lubben? She is a former stripper turned prosititute, turned porn star, as the cycle usually goes. Look her up online if you need any support from past feelings you may have. She has a wonderful recovery program and a group called the Pink Cross, which helps sex industry workers get out of the sex industry. Maybe perhaps people seeing there are support groups to help girls stop stripping will make them think twice about the work involved. I've never heard of a stop being a mailman, or stop being a construction worker, or a stop being a secretary support group before.

I came back to this post to post a link to try and show weddingbycolors group members the testimony of a former stripper.

and below that are 3 articles I BEG you all to read regarding strip clubs directly from the mouths of strippers!!!

http://www.thepinkcross.org/pinkcross-articles/october-2008/former-adult-entertainer-daphne-khoury-story


http://www.thepinkcross.org/pinkcross-articles/october-2008/strip-clubs-according-strippers-part-1

http://www.thepinkcross.org/pinkcross-articles/october-2008/stripclubs-according-strippers-part-2

http://www.thepinkcross.org/pinkcross-articles/october-2008/stripclubs-according-strippers-part-3

if my FI wants a stripper for his bachelor party, thats cool with me..but fortunately he doesnt like these stuff..lucky me...:)

vintagebabe..
honestly i agree stripping isnt healthy overall.  i know someone who owns a strip club and most of the girls will do anything for money but they really dont give a crap about the guys there.  on the other hand my coworker showed me pics of her friends party and she had male strippers who were paying their way through med school!  
in any case, im not saying i dont agree with you about all the bad things that strippers do.  im just saying that in relation to my fiance, its not a problem for our relationship, and that i dont believe us not hiring them is going to make a difference overall.  if his best man doesnt hire him, someone else will..maybe im just not optimistic like that.
just clarifying because i know this is a touchy subject!

Male strippers slightly still different...

just remember a lot of female strippers also claim they are stripping to get through law school or med school....

Male strippers are typically gay. Male strippers don't usually get sexually assaulted by clients or raped. Women are generally not that sexually aggressive, therefore male strippers aren't in as much danger. They are obsessed with their bodies. They do unnatural things to themselves to compete with eachother male strippers to maintain their appearance. Think about it. what normal guy lives in a gym, waxes his entire body, uses tanning beds, covers himself in oil, wears thongs and injects his penis with needles to make it larger and partially erect to look a certain way in underwear? Only strippers.

I'm ok with strip clubs. I go with him usually when he goes. Some of his dad's business friends have told me my FH got really pissed when they tried to buy him private dances so I know he respects my no privates dances or even lap dances really. He'll probably get a few lap dances at his party, I'm not thrilled about it but it's his night and I know he won't let anything I couldn't see happen. Just no private dances, I will personally whip the guy who somehow gets my FH to have one. One part that I'm putting my foot down is that he can't have his bachelor party here in South Florida cause the strippers here are a lot more aggressive than the ones in dallas and much more scandalous it seems too. It seems every pretty woman here is or was a stripper and it would really bother me that we might see the entertainer at a bar sometime later on. He's ok with it though, especially since most of his friends are in Dallas anyways.

What Vintage babe is describing is not stripping. It if just like hooking. Once you get into that its a different ball game. There are many different senariaos as well. Yes there is that skuzzy club where the girls do "favors" on the side. Get treated poorly etc. There is a stripclub here in town where the girls keep their thongs on and have body guards escort then to their cars. there are no private rooms and noone even gets near the stage. There are many levels. Topless dancing right down to full on being a hooker. But to classify all in the same  catagory is unfair. It;s just like any job in a bar. I know a bar here that I would probley rather work at the strip club I mentioned that be a waitress at this bar. And what about shooter girls. In most nightclubs they wear not much more than some strippers. And to say it's ok for a guy and not a girl to strip is unfair. Their are situations where it is a terrible thing but there are some where it is the girls business, she is not getting hurt. I think there is a huge differance in location. The US is most likely way worse than Canada. Anyway I'm just saying if a girl comes out dances and stripps to a thong and pasites that I think that is a huge differance than the "Games" some strippers play. And a good FH would know those games arn't games they are cheating.

I take it you didn't read any of those articles written by strippers who work at some of those supposedly professional clean clubs where no touching is allowed.

It happened whenwe got married 9 years ago...I let himgo...no games necessary...As soon as he got home 2, 3 4 don't matter. I TORE THE SKIN OFF IT!  Seriously, he still have a few scars today in memorance....TEAR THE SKIN OFF IT!  He was sore for a good 6 weeks!

I believe people are in control of their own destiny.
I do feel for the girls who have it bad but for every girls who is in hell there is one loving it. What about the girl who is going to retire in 5 years at the age of 27 owning four houses, investing wisly and loving her job. It's just that their story doesn't come out. (she does exist I used an actual example). I feel bad for the sex slaves who were sold at a young age by their own parents, not the girls who chose to strip and won't leave because the money is too good. I'm sure there are more bad situations than good yes but  I truely believe you are responsible for your own life. noone is holding a gun to their head (and if they are yes that is a diff story and much bigger/different issue) Thats it. Vintagegirl, I love and respect your passion, I have it with other issues, but this is not my battle.

I have a very different outlook on life. I don't believe in enemployment or welfare. I will not give to the homeless (get a job and stop drinking) I know what your going to do with my money and its not for food (the city provides 3 free meals a day). I will never give money to fight a disease. It will just go to the drug companies. and when you fight something you are just making it stronger. ask me to give to heath and wellness causes...prevent the disease I'm there. Clean the enviroment, I'm there. I will always give to kids they are the future, but once you an adult take responsibility for yourself. playing the victim will get you nowhere. Is you play the victim then your energy will be negitive and you will attract more bad things into your life. It's a vicious cycle.

We've all hard times, it's how you deal with them that matters.

And there is my view on life lol, can you tell it's a slow day at work.

I really don't care what he has. I just don't want him to hang out too late because I know how he is. But, whatever he do is find with me I trust him.

Kyla. If you hate the welfare system then be more mad. Find one strip club in the US that offers Medical insurance. Where do you think those girls go when they need medical treatment? Or when the job is down and out? You guess it. Social services.

And I am glad we have a social services system Kyla. not everyone who has to go on it is a loser that doesn't have a job. When my crazy abusive stalker cheating ex husband through me and my 2 year old daughter out on the streets... I had no where to go. No where to feed her. Social services got me back up on my feet. When I had 2 jobs up until I had her, I paid my taxes. I deserved help when I needed it. I had food stamps. I had medicaid. I had WIC. And I lived in government housing. And I again, had to two jobs while living as a single mom. Had there been no welfare system to help me out, my daughter would have wound up in foster care, and I'd probably be dead. I was not a loser. I was far from it. I deserved it while I got it. And when I didn't need it anymore, I moved, and I stopped claiming it. There are plenty of hard working families who need social services, and plenty of abused women like me that had nothing to start with. I thank God for our social services system.

I understand you feel there may be a stripper somwhere that loves her job. But I don't think its psychologically normal for a woman to enjoy showing her body off like that to strangers she doesn't know for money. Sex is emotional to us as creatures. When we detach, there is something wrong. She may like the money, but it's still unhealthy. Imagine how stripper looks on a resume when you want a new job.

Everyone seems to keep thinking my point here is to rave and be mean to strippers. Like I said, my best friend was a stripper. I believe she is living proof how damaging it is. I feel pain for the strippers when I know that the majority of them were raped and molested as little girls. They are used to abuse. It's almost normal and comfortable to them. So they go into the sex industry. This does not make it ok. When someone says "its her body let her do it", I still hear someone say "it's her body let her smoke crack if she wants to". The behavior is destructive.

I'm glad you say you know someone who enjoyed it. I can't find anyone who did. And neither can the professionals who talk to strippers to find out job statistics. They all seem to break down during their interveiws at some point.


EVERY STRIPPER IS SOMEONES DAUGHTER.

PS. and before you say shelters or kitchens could have help, there are no shelters where I live. No for hundreds of miles. No kitchens either. if you don't have a warm house of your own, and you are out on the streets, people call the cops because you are an eye sore and you go to jail. I hardly call that a shelter. And if you don't have food. You starve to death.

whew its hot in here.

we shall agree to disagree.
Sorry to hear you had a hard time and it's not those situations that make me not believe in the system. I think we spend too much time and effort helping people who can't help themselves. If you need help for a short amount of time thats fine but there are too many lazy people staying on assistance for years. you obviusly not one of them as you seem to be doing great now. Like I said I just have a totally different view on life than you. I'm comfortable with it and can totally respect your opinion while I may not share it.

Cheers

I understand it's easy to be judgmental, or to have a stereotype specially on this subject.  I am a stripper, or how I like to call it, an Exotic Dancer.  And no, I was not abused as a child, I'm not a drug addict and I don't have any  unresolved issues in my life.  Actually, I'm a very happy, accomplished  person, I have a great, strong marriage and four happy, well adjusted, healthy kids.  I do it because I chose to, I have a great deal of respect for myself and my husband and I can truly say I like my job!  Of course I'm not gonna lie and say that every stripper is in the same situation, yes, there are some troubled young girls that get carried into other stuff, but not everybody goes down the prostitution path.  It also makes a huge difference, like someone said before, in what type of club you work at.  If my club wasn't as nice, clean(no nasty "extras") and upscale as it is, I would have never ventured into this industry.  Different people do it for different reasons, in my case I do it because it gives me the freedom to work whenever I want, allowing me to spend a whole lot of time with my kids, not miss any games or school plays, stay home when they have the sniffles, or just because I don't feel like driving!  I never have to worry about our bills, and we have had the most amazing summer of our entire lives!  We traveled everywhere and spend every single day at the pool (talk about family time!).  And I cannot imagine how we could have afforded to have the wedding of my dreams, flying the six of us to my country for three weeks  with our previous income, or even thinking about taking the time off from work!  Now, I'm not trying to glorify it by any means, but it seems to be a good fit for me and my family, I think that the fact that I started doing this when I was 31 (10 months ago) and not 17, made a big difference.   I cannot speak for private parties, that might be a totally different story.  But once again, not every stripper becomes a prostitute!!!

I forgot to add, strippers can't get unemployment.  We are hired as contractors, which means we are self employed, so if we get fired, we are on our own.  As for health benefits (medicaid), we don't qualify because of the amount of money we make, so there again, we are on our own.  I doubt many strippers are mooching off of the government, but there might be some exceptions.

I wish you would have put your actual name so we could speak more. Your husband doesn't mind you showing your body to other people for money? Do your kids know what you do?
I'm glad to know you make enough money that you can afford surgeries that costs thousands and thousands of dollars when you need them without seeking government assistance. That's usually not the case unfortunately. The girls who work in Plattsburgh for instance strip for the quick money, but since stripping as you would know, is not an hourly paying job... the only way social services would know what you make, is if you honestly claim your tips when you go apply for social services. Not a lot of stippers who are desperate for medical insurance claim all their tips. Plus club owners take such a large portion of their tips... they still don't get what they make. Plus they have to pay taxes on their tips at the end of the year. That makes life quite difficult for many people when they have kids to feed or medical needs. All the girls here turn to social services, and they get everything.

I completely agree with ~VintageBabe~ ideas, thoughts, beliefs etc. Not for us either! I read the articles that vintagebabe posted and they are pretty sad, I feel sorry for those women!

wow Vintage girl, The passion. you obviously feel very strongly. Listening to you talk about health care though makes me see a BIG difference that effects our views I think...Location. Here things are more accepted in a good way, health care is free, gays are embraced, Racism is scarce. I forget when it comes to this stuff how different two close countrys are.

you are right Kyla. Where I live, if you don't have health insurance, you are going to either be completely in debt for the rest of your life, or die. When I had my daughter, my job and my ex husbands job did not offer insurance. I had no choice but to get medicaid through the government. And thank God I got it, because I had to have an emergency C section. Abigail and I  both would have died had I not been able to get help. Where I lived, if you didn't have medical insurance, you got sent to a charity hospital where you labored in a room full of other mothers and all watched either. Many of which were single and very young. Thank God for medicaid when I needed it.

it'as true, you could be fine one day and get sick and then be $100,000 in dept. It's is so wierd to me that is is not free. How does that even make sence. Here basic is free for all and most jobs offer extended health care. I pay for nothing. Dentist, eye care, chiropractor (not that I would pay anyway. my FH is one), Even a certin amount of massage is covered. I forget how good we have it. And medicare is just one think, we really do have it good.  Looking down at the US I can see how different things are, even with stripping. I can Imaging how stripping in Vegas and stripping in Calgary could be two very different scenes.

another question "bluebride".... since you are already married with 4 kids I take it you are planning a vow renewal.....

but my question is this.. when hundreds of other men are looking at you with lust and putting money on your naked body that belongs to your husband.. where do you go mentally to block it out?

Yes, in fact, it will be our vow renewal.  Answering your question about where do I go mentally..... I plan my next getaway, dream about my vow renewal, plan my family's weekly menu, think about how fortunate I am to have my looks and a strong mind to be able to do this without ruining my life.... just about anything.  And for me, it's no different than modeling (with less clothing, of course)  I'm selling my image, not my body.  I'm sure there are a lot of men out there that lust over a Victoria's Secret catalog..... what is the difference, that they can actually talk to me instead of a piece of paper?
Going back to the government assistance topic, we are very fortunate to have health insurance through my husband's job, which sadly is the only thing that keeps him there (he is totally miserable at his job) but I see your point, there are way too many people that take advantage of it.  And like I said before, I cannot speak for every club in America, but at least the one where I work at, they report 80% or more of what we make (if you ever waited tables, you know how the system automatically reports your credit card tips, basically the same thing) and they don't keep any  of our money, what we make is what we take home, and most of it is reported.  But you are right, when tax time comes it's gonna be a good chunk of money, but it's something we are preparing for.  I think that as long as you have strength of character, this is better than getting food stamps and medicaid, at least I am supporting my family, even if it is in a very unconventional way.

So you do have to "leave your body" to do your job. Doesn't it feel creey talking to horny men for their cash? Well, to each his own. I still feel sorry for you. I wonder how different your life could be if you weren't choosing to be a part of the sex industry.

It's true Blue Bride, I'm a cheerleader. I wear basically a bathingsuit and walk around and sign calenders of me in next to nothing. Guys tell us what they do with those calenders...ewwww...but it's all worth it being on the sidelines at the end of a big win.

Vintagegirl, You before sounded like you were against stripping for the sake of the girls. Here you have one telling you she is fine and you sit and judge. To each her own is right. I'm sure you could find things in my life to judge me on and me you as well. And really who doesn't daydream at work to get through a day. I do but I work in an office, And what keeps me there...the money and sweet business trips.

I'd prefer him not to have strippers at his bachelor party, and he says he doesn't want them, but knowing his friends, it's definitely a possibility..

well Kyla I'm a former cheerleader. Kudos to you.

You may think I am judging her, I am not. I am simply trying to figure out for the life of me why someone would choose to be a stripper when there are other things in this world to do for money. I'm not so sure I'm convinced she likes her job when she herself said she had to basically leave her own body. For instance, I love my job. I never leave my body at work. I never come home feeling dirty and used and lusted after. I do think being in person is different than a picture. Pictures are images made by colored dots. People are real. Breathing. You can touch them. Smell them. Sitting there and being naked and talking to horny men is not something little girls dream of doing when they grow up. And especially not married women. When she said the men get to talk to her I was horrified. I felt sorry for her more. I just wonder why someone in that situation (stripping long term) who has a family doesn't come up with a new plan to get out of the industry. That's all. I said what I wanted to say. I have gotten at least a dozen emails commending me for speaking up. Just because I am primarily the only one talking here and not through just email doesn't mean I am alone on this topic in this forum. She is the first stripper I have met in my entire life who claimed to like the job. The other ones I know say they like it to... until you ask them how it makes them feel.. then they cry. I think it is terrible she is in a situation with fully dressed men while she is naked and vunerable. It seems so sexist to me. I fear she may have a crazed pervert follow her home to her children. Or run into her in public when she is with her family. How horrifying.

Vintagebabe, don feel sorry for me, I assure you that I am happier and in a much better situation than most people in this crappy economy.   Not many people can say they make $500/hr just for being pretty, and yes, sometimes men pay you just to sit there and listen to them.  Why would you be so horrified that I talk to them? You only talk to people through their blogs? that sounds more creepy to me.....
And like Kyla said, don't pretend to be one that wants to save these "poor" girls (yes, I read your other post) and start by judging them!!!
I'm done, I'm here to get ideas for my wedding, oh sorry - vow renewal - (seems to make a crucial difference to you for some reason), not to defend myself from people pointing a finger at me without even knowing me.  I wrote in this post to show others that there's another side to the stereotype , not to be judged. Done.

BlueBride... what makes you think I only talk to women through blogs? I have a daily life. I just think sitting near a pervert in exchange for cash is creepy. And why would I judge you for a vow renewal when I'm also here planning my vow renewal??????

I just don't think it's emotionally normal for a woman to be ok with your situation. To women sex is emotional. If I had your job I would run home and cry and bathe in comet.

I also wanted to say that you yourself admitted that many strippers fall exactly into trap that article spoke about. That was me repeating the message. Nobody likes the messenger. You also admitted you didn't know about private parties. You didn't try to make things up, which was good. My point is asking about a vow renewal was because at first you were not signed into your account, and I had every reason to believe someone was pulling a fast one on me trying to convince me how great their life was, and when they mentioned already being married with 4 kids I figured I had someone who messed up on details, or someone who was planning a vow renewal. I certainly didn't judge you on that, considering I am doing the same exact thing. I do still feel sorry for you. I just can't help it. It bothers me there is a mother out there taking her clothes off for money. It is not right. Your body is sacred and belongs to only you and your husband. No one else should ever be allowed to see it. Sex should always be precious for you. You should never have to work in a situation where you feel vunerable for money. I can't believe your husband hasn't gotten you out of this situation. He may be a great guy. I just don't think my husband could ever sleep at night knowing I was doing what you're doing to go on vacation and pay bills. He'd feel terrible. I worry that you'll be in the grocery store someday with your kids and some pervert will recognize you and over step his boundaries and want to talk, and how are you going to explain to your babies that you don't want them to do things that are sexually immoral, but it's ok for mommy to take her clothes off and danced seductively for other men besides daddy? I feel this job is going to bring on more problems later in life for you. I understand you love the money. It sounds tempting. But this is where you and I are different. I would rather keep my sexuality and my body in my home and live more modestly. I'd be bitter on vacation knowing I had to show private parts of my body to hundreds of other horny men to pay for it. It is extremely interesting meeting a stripper online who claims to like her job. It's a first for me. My best friend is destroyed from it. A girl who was my best friend since we were 9 years old. I watched a sweet girl with a strong head on her shoulders in college turn into a drug addict after she was raped several times AT WORK, and not allowed to press charges because her club did not want a bad reputation. I'm angry. I will never stop being angry.

I feel the word "judging" is being misused here. There is a vast difference between judging and discerning.  If I come upon a dead cat in the road and I say outloud "look that cat is dead", I have not judged the cat's death. I have discerned that it is dead because I can see that it is dead. Just because someone says they are putting themselves through college by stripping does not mean that's a good thing. That's like saying selling drugs for college money is a positive thing. "I sell drugs for money for my family because they need it". It is immoral. I know all about making a moral decision when you have the option of just doing what you want instead. My husband and I lived together before marriage. We conscious chose not to have premarital sex.  We did not want to disapoint God and ourselves, so we chose to do the right thing, and that was to get married as quick as we could. Now granted when we get married at our formal wedding, it may not be as special, but making the moral choice was worth more. The right choice unfortunately is usually the hardest one to do. I chose to put my wants aside and do what was moral.

My biggest concern are the kids. What happens when your 13 yr old daughter  announces to you that she has decided to start having sex with her 18 yr old boyfriend? What leg will you have to stand on when she screams "But I LOVE him! Who are you to tell me what's right and what's wrong!? You take your clothes off in front of men you don't know for money!" What about when your 15 yr old son has friends who are seniors in the hallway at school snickering at him because they saw his old lady prancing around in her birthday suit the night before? How will he ever learn to how women with respect and dignity? Boys look to their mothers to teach them that.

my husband works 50 hours a week and he does college online everyday to ensure we are financially stable. When he is finished with college we will be able to afford vacations and unneccesary things that are nice to have.

I feel that because I have not changed my mind and I am sticking to my guns that I am the one being judged. I just can not accept that it is ever for a woman to take her clothes off for men she doesn't know, or for men to pay women to see their naked bodies. Sex is sacred. Sex is precious. Sex is meant to be shared only with your betrothed. Not strangers. Not images of sex either.

I am not the only person in this group who feels this way. I have stated that before. I have received multiple emails from members who I wish would back me up lol. I am simply the main speaker. But hey, nobody likes the messenger.

BlueBride I don't think less of you. Just like I don't think less of my Karri. I just think you deserve more, and I wish you thought the same.

And 500 bucks an hour? Consistently? Wow. You should write a book. You could be famous. Even the strippers who worked at the Gold Room in Dallas who stripped for celebrities only made about 1,000 a night on saturdays. Once in a blue moon this one girl said she made 2,000. You make more than them. You could be a legend.

kyla please don't be mad at me because of my religion. I do not believe it is natural for a woman to be able to numb herself to be a stripper. It tells me something is wrong. Maybe the job itself is what is tramatizing. This is my personal belief. You will not change my mind. I will not change yours.

The original topic was how do you feel about your guy wanting strippers. I thank God in heaven mine thinks stripping is filthy and degrading to women and wants nothing to do with it. He turns to me for sex.

BlueBride. I saw your picture. You are pretty. Ever considered opening your own business to each married women how to strip for their husbands? Like maybe open your own dance studio and sell poles and lingerie and music? It's a thought. In that case, if I lived nearbye, you'd have my business and I you wouldn't have to get naked for me. lol.

Honestly, I don't hate y

holy dyslexia and spelling errors. lol. I meant "Teach". I think that would be a pretty cool job.

I commend bluebride for entering this topic given her position, and vintagebride thanks for educating us on some things some strippers have gone threw, I think you gave bluebride an awesome Idea I mean if I made 500.00 and hour Id invest it and triple it , Id sign up to go to her class to! I love being sexi and I cant wait to show my FI that side of me (not until our wedding)

This will probably offend a lot of ladies here, but I INSISTED that he has strippers (yep preferably more than one) because as he put it it's really more for his mates than him.
We've already discussed (and by discussed I mean I said it in passing and he just assumed it anyway) me having strippers and neither of us really cared - the male stripper will definitely be more for my dodgy mates than me as I'm not really into that sort of thing!
Tim had a stripper for his 21st (miiiiles before I met him) and they still joke about her and her horsey face - so that's how I see them, pretty much just jokes that are part of the skeezy party theme.
That's just us though - we trust each other implicitely and I know that he's still VERY attracted to me (I'm not entirely sure why) and me to him!

We're pretty chilled out LOL

PS:  My gay mate organising my hen's night has already told me I"m getting 2 strippers....and one's a midget.  Just wait for the photos!  HEH

I've never had much of a problem with him going, as long as he isn't getting lap dances. I used to have a BIG problem with it, and actually went to a bachelor party with him. It wasn't a big deal at all. I was happy cause I thinner and had bigger boobs than both.

This is legalizing adultery. You're like giving him permission to cheat on you even before you exchage vows on your wedding day.  Let's all put a stop to this kind of culture.

dearkaye, I wish I could hug you!

I encourage my man to have fun...he does hate to be the center of attention though...so im getting 2 strippers for him for his bachelors party...well...the guys are paying for it but i gave them ideas of what kind of girls...shakira look a like with ufc uniforms and a softball player:). lol.  i dont care if people go to gentlemens clubs...its all in good fun.  I trust my guy friends and my man to behave...its against their nature to betray me...so why marry a guy that you have to restrain from going to places or need to know what they will be doing when they are not with you...so back to the question....I AM SO COOL WITH MY MAN HAVING STRIPPERS!!

My fiance and I both agreed that we do not want strippers involved in our bachelor/bachelorette parties what's so ever. We informed the bridal party of our decision. My MOH was pissed because SHE wanted chip'n'dales. It's my bachelorette party so too bad! We're going dancing at the clubs( not strip clubs) and bar hopping all decked out in bachelorette gear. I think that will be a lot more fun.
The Best Man, fiance, and I all got into a huge fight about it though. The Best Man kept saying what she doesn't know won't hurt her. My fiance doesn't want strippers either. So after we got it through his head that I'm not being a #%$%$, and fiance doesn't want strippers either the Best Man was ok with it.
I know a stripper. She has worked in many clubs. She told me that a lot of the girls get a kick out of getting the groom to be to cheat on their fiance. Meanwhile, the groom's drunk friends are egging him on. That's not a situation that I'd want my fiance in. Heck, I wouldn't want to be in that situation!

no i'm not interested in having strippers,
i've asked him and he hates the idea of having them too...
but i'll definitely be dancing on top of all the bars in barcelona on my hen-do

I honestly dont usually mind if my FH goes to strip clubs, i sometimes go with him.. BUT i am completely against having strippers for a stag, the only reason i dont mind my FH going is because we have a no touch rule... well... at stag parties... the strippers are all over the groom... ahhhhh. im really glad my FH doesnt want srippers for his stag, he thinks they are overrated.

No way strippers are dirty Hookers in my opinion  I just tell my FH the only reason why those girls are in there selling their bodies in such a way is b/c they are unable to make a living with their brain, they also most likely were molested raped or abused by someone in her family or something gross or they need to take all the guys money so they can go into the back room and shoot heroin between there toes.....after telling him those kinda things I'm sure he's totally turned off by it and hopefully that's all he can think about when looking at a stripper.....but he's really good and doesn't like that kinda stuff anyway.

My FH keeps telling me he doesn't want to go to a strip club or have strippers, but I have a feeling it may happen anyway because I know all of his friends will want it (especially if one particular groomsman plans the party). My FH would honestly prefer to just go hang out at a brew pub. I will be sad if there are strippers, but I'm sure I will get over it pretty quick.

Our city has a "no touch" strip club rule. Girls have to wear thongs also..topless only. My ex talked me in to going to a strip club with him...I was completely against the idea but didn't want to be a "prude" so I relented.  We were with a big group and the ex went up to the stage for one of the shows. The woman wrapped her legs around his face/neck and was humping his mouth and nose and he was having him a good ole time. I packed my bags and left (for a week or so). I told him if he does that in front of me what will he do behind my back?

He was best friends with the general manager of the nicer two strip clubs here in town. I heard all kinds of stories from the guys about what went on. These were supposedly respectable clubs. They would hire "feature shows" to come in and then you could go in to the backroom with the performer and have your picture taken....lets just say there was a lot more going on then JUST having your picture taken....and I have seen the pictures!

Needless to say he and I are no longer together. I was willing to give the strip clubs a chance but after seeing what went on in there...there is no way in hell my FH will be in a strip club for his buck night. And if he does end up there....I won't be walking down the aisle.

Quite frankly after seeing the strippers in this town I don't see why ANYONE would go....very nasty!

futuresmrst, you said it perfectly. I've heard ALL about the no touch rule. It means the men don't touch first. That's all it means.

I could care less.  I don't really think anyone should judge you either way.  Do I think its a huge deal?  No.  Does he want to go to one?  No.  However, would I flip out if he did.  No.  I'm not interested in the statistics or all this other preachy type stuff.  Statistics are stats...they don't apply to everyone and if your not cool with it then that's fine.  Make it an issue...if you are cool with it then worry about bigger and better things.

I don't really care if the man has strippers. Hell, most of my bridal party will is bisexual, maybe I'll have female and male strippers. Booya!

well said shalini

He really isn't into that, but if his guys got him one then it wouldn't be a big deal. We have a lot of trust in our relationship so it wouldn't bother me. I do think it would be hilarious to see how he would react lol

My fh was taken to a Stripper Bar and so was I. I had a Great time, it was crazy, Im sure he had a good time too. At first I was hesitant - but then again I didnt care. It was his first time and I went to a few before so it wasnt a biggie.
Afterwards we all met up at the club - it was a fun night but like Shalini said - there are bigger issues than that. If you trust your man this shouldnt be an issue - its just titti*s and thongs, Im not self conscious and besides he had a few lapdances from me before so Im sure these girls at the bar had nothing on me.

I have been reading this post and I feel that stripping is something I do not want to be apart of my life. I have been married before and my first hubby treated me OK until he started going to strippers and getting lap dancers and who knows what else.( this I found out after we divorced) He then started to treat me like I was a sex thing. The love making ( if it ever was that or just a show) left our marriage and turned into a whole rough, I MEAN really rough nasty painful sex. This all happened because that is how he treated the strippers who were turning tricks.Let me say that I an not a good little girl I like sex and that is why I was surprised when I found out he was sleeping around, if someone gives everything to someone and they STILL go out and cheat then there is nothing I can do.  I got a divorce and didn't think I could ever trust a man again. SO now that I am engaged to a wonderful guy the rules up front are no strippers AT ALL  male or female and I am lucky to have someone who thinks that is not right to go see strippers. He has daughters and says there is no way he would ever go and he never has. I have been told that all men go but I know for a fact that is not true. I think trust and respect is the main thing in my life I need to feel happy and I respect my FH because he has the guts to stand up and be a man that does not need to see someones VGG in his face to be happy. and in turn means I feel I can trust someone again.

I am not judging anyone for going to strippers or being a stripper..In MY life I have no room for them.

sassybex, you're right.... NOT all men go. I've heard so many clueless people think all men go to strip clubs and watch porn. BULLCRAP. Some men have class and morals.

no strippers for my fiance... and not cuz i told him. we have talked about it, and hes never been to see strippers before so why would he now? He actually isn't going to his friend's bachelor party, (or is really trying to get out of it) because he does not want to see strippers. I dont want them, he doesn't want them. Neither of us agree with it

I don't care if my FI has strippers at his party or goes to a strip club either.
If you trust your man and he is worth trusting, it shouldn't be a problem.
If you're worried about strippers touching your man, then there are other issues that need to be addressed.
It's all about what insecurities you have or don't have.

Also, a man liking a naked/half naked woman dancing or a man liking porn, does not mean he has no morals or class lol. That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard/read.

WOW 84 COMMENTS SO FAR!!  I am actually fine with it.  I am suppling them as my gift to him.  I completely trust him.  He doesn't know yet that I am sending them to the party it's a surprise :)

well sam I'm sorry that's the craziest thing you've ever heard. I honestly doubt that is. It's just the thing you thought to say to justify your opinion.

60 years ago was this type of behavior common and condoned? NO. In the last 60 years have we all just evolved into a new form of confidance? NO. But in the last 60 years we have lost our basic morals and as a society we have been doing things that would horrify our grandmothers and now we call it "the norm". It has nothing to do with confidance, and everything to do with class, and morals.

I am very confidant in my marriage and with my husband. And his feelings are the same exact as mine. And he is a man! Go figure! The way he puts it... "those girls selling their bodies for money are someones daughter!" He's seeing the big picture. Just like me.


And there is no way in hell I would ever let another man near my body. HELL NO. It's dirty to me. And classless. In this society where people sleep around and make out with strangers I like to consider myself a rebel. I have devoted myself to one man, and one man only, and I will not allow any other man near my person, nor will I let my friends pressure me to do so just because they like to.

Those who play with fire, will get burned.

I totally agree!! strippers are gross! i have no respect for strippers or anyone else who takes there clothes off for money or entertainment!! i guess you could say i hate them! lol NASTY!! but anyway... i told my FH that if there are strippers @ his party i will postpone our wedding, cuz he knows how i feel about that stuff and i have self esteem issues, and body image issues, and he knows that too. and he knows that if he would look at some ho on a stage it would just kill me, cuz i'm afraid that he would wish i looked like them... and plus if he did go he would probably have to go get tested for STDs, just from walking in!!!!!

I keep seeing women say "I totally trust my fiance and I know he won't cheat on me at his bachelor party"....

ladies... have you ever actually heard a woman say "i totally don't trust my fiance and I know he will cheat on me at his bachelor party"

nope.. because ALL women think they won't cheat.. and then so many of them do.. and so many nice girls are shocked and hurt and betrayed. The fact is, even good men can sometimes be sadly influence when it groups of men when they are slobbering drunk. Just like the guys who say... "oh no hunny! I won't get a lap dance..." AND THEN THEY DO!

What a sad world we live in.

Men will be men.  If he wants to have strippers, so be it.  My FH doesn't like strippers.  He says they are all too skinny.  He doesn't find that attractive at all, but he will go to the strip club if his brother's ask him to go, but only on special occasions like birhthdays.  I wouldn't mind if he wanted strippers at his bachelor party.  I would just hope that he would respect me enough not to do al the "extra" things like "feed the kitty" and sex acts.  I don't mind lap dances and all that other stuff.  I would just ask him to respect me before hand and the rest is up to his discretion.  If he disrepects me, which I highly doubt, then I guess I will be marrying the wrong man.  God will take care of it.

Well, I was a stripper when he met me, so I don't really mind. If the boys want to go out, it will be more for the groomsmen than him. Personally, I'd rather he go to a strip club than a normal bar. Way less crazy stuff happens at a strip club, believe it or not.

what are you kidding me! At most mens stripper parties they are meek and mild compared to whats going on at womens stripper parties. It has become a huge industry because women today are going in droves and go gagga doing them as they please.
male strippers walk around getting these drunk and some stone sober chicks going down on them and then on to the sex. It is all over the internet. Look for real male bachelor parties and its nothing like these. Bachelorettes , and birthdays office parties and on and on have become wild orgies with these women all over these guys. Check it out....
What has this whole thing come to? I mean young girls going down on strangers then letting them do whatever these strippers who actually some already have no clothes on at all , do whatever they want literally. I saw them double teaming these guys and just unbelievable stuff. so massage? cmon. kiddie land.

Are YOU kidding? What, strippers are so sex starved that they liquor up almost-married women to take advantage of them? Yeah, maybe in a porn! The vids you are talking about were taken in AMSTERDAM where prostitution is legal.

I am planning my fiance's bach party and im looking for him strippers, which btw most of their websites suck. but to all you women who dont want your man excited by other women , get over it , they are guys, as long as he isnt turned on by other guys then im good. and no guy i s against strippers they just say that to make women feel better. but i guess it helps that i like girls too and we go to strip clubs together on a semi regular basis

I was a bartender in a strip joint.  It depends on the club and the owner of that club. There are a bunch of clubs around here that you could catch a disease just walking in the front door. Its GROSS! I use to go to strip joints all the time at the start of my relationship. Then I started working in one and the tables changed. He said no more strip joints. He will not step a foot in one. He says he was not jealous but I think it bothered him I was around men with money all night.

Yeah Its very disrespectful. Strip joints should be for singles or couples (that both agree) ONLY.  If you both dont agree its off limits. I have no problem with them but my man does. He tells his boys to f off if they want to go. He explains what he wants is waiting at home. I have a damn good man!!!!!

Get together with all your friends and have a dinner!

I think saying that all men like strip clubs but only some pretend they don't is an insult to men. NOT ALL MEN LIKE WOMEN WHO DON'T HAVE MORALS.

I like what jennandian2010 says: 'Yeah Its very disrespectful. Strip joints should be for singles or couples (that both agree) ONLY.  If you both dont agree its off limits."  because its true what works well with one couple may not in another! so do what works best for your own relationship, I have known couples that go together and some that would never! like me and my husband so hey it is what it is.

I'm a dancer, and a lot of these "true stories" that are being posted are no where near the norm in strip clubs.

Well, not entirely true, I guess.  Contact laws vary from state to state, even county to county.  In certain places, if you don't keep at least one foot on the floor during a private dance, it's prostitution.  In other places, if you don't wear flesh-colored pasties, it's prostitution.  Somewhere else, if you don't remove yourself from a customer's lap after 8 seconds, prostitution.  You get my point.

All of these "games" and "true stories" would absolutely count as prostitution in my club, and we would be fired immediately for doing that sort of thing.

Using phrases like "nasty girl" is really uncalled for and IS judgmental.

Just to put some minds at ease, we don't want your man.  We don't want to make your man stray.  We just want your man to put money on the stage while we dance.  The men who come into the club are our paychecks, nothing more.  We don't have contests to see if we can get your man because we don't want to get fired and because most of us don't just have sex or go home with random dudes.  Most of us have significant others who make us very happy.

I can say with 100% honesty that I have never touched a customer anywhere but his shoulders and knees.  When a customer has touched me, I ended the dances and had security either keep an eye on them or escort them out.  I have never put ANYTHING into my vagina at the club EVER.  (Except for a tampon in the bathroom.  Alone.)  In fact, my club is topless, so no customer has ever seen or will ever see anything covered by my g-string.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I know that not everyone is okay with strippers or strip clubs at bachelor parties or whatever.  That's fine, and I understand it, actually.  But to sit around and pretend like we want to try to get your man or some other such nonsense is just insecurity.

anon, I'm only repeating what other strippers have said publically. Facts are facts. You work at one joint where you show the body gave you as a gift to your husband with strangers in exchange for money. Call it what you want. But you don't speak for all the other girls doing it too.

scuse me for the spelling error, the body GOD gave you.

this is def something you should talk to with your FH.

It should be mutual. Each person should be comfortable with what the other person is doing.

My guy isn't into strip clubs but his two brothers are a different story, I know he will end up at one anyway so I'm not mad at him cuz my sisters are taking me to vegas for my bachelorette party so I'm guaranteed to have fun, so I want him to have fun too and if that happens to be at a strip club so be it as long as he shows up the day of the wedding.