Bridesmaids - I need HONEST opinions, PLEASE!! - PHILLYSGIRL5's Pink Wedding by Color Blog

I'll apologize in advance for the long post........ But I really need help.

Here we go again. You all know I have had some bridesmaid regrets. But I thought that was past me, and everything was good. Little back story if you don't remember my previous post.

FSIL is the only bridesmaid out of state. I asked everyone to send me some dresses they liked so we could go try them on. She sent me some, but tried pushing that I just use one color and let them all choose own style. I said no, because ALL ALONG it has been very important to me to have a uniform look. So she told me that no matter what the other girls chose, she would just go along with it, that she would wear whatever I wanted her to. So the girls chose a dress they all loved. I sent it to her, and she didn't like it. Then went to try it on and said it wouldn't work and she hated how she looked in it. I thought it was a self image issue, so asked her to try on some dresses and let me know what she liked. So she did. She is the biggest in the bridal party, so I wanted her to be comfortable in a dress.

So I had to take some angry bridesmaids BACK to the bridal store to choose another gown, even though they all loved the one. I just wanted everyone to be comfortable and happy. So the girls chose one of the dresses she liked, but I could tell with some regret because they really loved the first one.

This was a month ago. The girls ordered and have received their dresses now. FSIL had some issues getting pregnant and took fertility route. Now she's pregnant, but only like a month. I"m soooooo happy for her. Then she found out it was twins. I talked to Philly about the possibility of her not being able to travel here for the wedding because of high risk, we decided we would see what happens since she will only be 4 months along at time of wedding.

She text me the other night asking if she could start looking at maternity dresses. WHAT?!?!?!?! The dress has already been chosen and is a very flowy dress. She had ordered hers big anyway hoping to be pregnant. Once again, I want a UNIFORM look. I don't want her having a different dress and I'll be damned if I'm going to have the other girls change theirs......NOT an option. So I asked her if she couldn't get a bigger size or add panels depending on how big she was, and alot of people don't even show at 4 months, and if they do, they sure haven't "popped" yet. She's mad. I'm mad. Where do we go from here?

These girls changed their dress FOR her. And now she wants to wear something different? I really think the dress will work just fine. And what if she doesn't even end up coming? Her husband is in the wedding too, so I'm sure she won't let him come if she doesn't.

Am I being selfish? Anything I say is going to come across that I'm not happy for her, and that's the farthest thing from the truth. I'm ecstatic for her!!! I think what made me the most angry is that she sent me a text saying it's not like she knew she was going to get pregnant. WTH did she think was going to happen taking fertility treatments?? A stork would show up?? And that text made it sound like she had to defend herself, which was NEVER an issue. I still want her to stand up, I just want her to wear THAT dress.

My family and Philly agree with me. But I had to find out what you ladies think. Any of you have kids that you know what 4 month pregnancy is about? PLEASE please just be honest, I can take it. I'm just SOOOO confused as to what to do, and how to have my vision and not turn the waters with future in laws. Thanks if you made it to the end of this, haha.

Yeah, she is being kind of selfish and I don't know what else to say. I've had my different issues as well.
What my FH and I decided is that whatever we say is FINAL, it's done.
I hope it turns out well, and in the end it usually does because you end up together ;)

I would stick to your guns! I think you have been more then fair and accomodating.... just explain that the dresses have already been chosen. If she is selfish enough to let that interfere with her and her husband being in your wedding then honestly it is her loss.... I have never been pregnant but I have plenty of friends who are/have been and only the really tiny girls were showing at 4 months and unless you knew they were pregnant you couldn't even tell!
Good luck with everything!!!

as long as your family and your Fhubby agree with you then do what you feel is right sweety. i personally dont think you're wrong for wanting to stick to your vision so dont feel bad about it! she's being selfish and inconsiderate right now. If her husband is a reasonable man with five senses he will come for the wedding and play his role regardless.

OH no hunni :( I thought your BM drara would be all over with!!! But I think you have every right to stick to your guns....when they went dress shopping they went looking for dresses knowing in mind that one may be pregnant, so they chose a flowy dress to accomodate, therefor she has no need to pick another dress... i know exactly what i would say if i were in your shoes (bc i hate conflict, but im also not a push over)...I would call her (or actually i'd probly email her bc im not good a vocal confrontation lol) and I would politely tell her that the dress that was chosen was chosen based on her wants and needs, and that every other bridesmaid put aside what they wanted to accomodate her. So if in the end if she really does not want to wear that dress, then she wont be standing up because you cant keep giving up what you want for her sake, you already gave up the initial dress that you chose for them to wear for her, you cant keep accomodating.
When I chose my bridesmaids 3 out of 6 of them thought they might be pregnant for the wedding, so we all decided on a dress that everyone loved, and that could be easliy altered if they were to get pregnant. Not one of my girls put up a stink about the dress we chose and im so happy for that! I'm sorry that you have to go through yet again more drama :(
x0x

Girlie you were in the right she is in the wrong it is your wedding and it goes the way you want it to dont let her try to dictate what goes on in your wedding its not right for her to do that to you and honestly I would tell her that the dress picking is final and its not changing whatsoever and tell her how you feel about her being pregnant that your really happy for her that shes pregnant to me it sounds like she wants to flaunt the fact that shes pregnant which its no big deal but your wedding is your day its about you no matter if shes pregnant or not........Like I said tell her that the dress is final and that she can not go looking for a different dress I dont have any kids so personally I couldnt tell you if you start showing at 4 months but it doesnt matter the dress is already picked and thats that is what i would say

oh and good luck girlie stick to your guns and do what you think is right :)

hunnie i know shes happy shes pregnant and probably hoping her belly is so big by the weddinf that everybody will see shes pregnat that she forgot its not her day! tell her to keep the dress, its ur day! dont let her bully u!!!

You ladies have no idea how much your comments mean to me, seriously!!! I felt I was right, but then was doubting myself, even though family and Philly thought I was right. Hearing it from all of you is such a relief!!! Thank you sooooo much. @littlelamb, you worded that PERFECTLY, I'm going to take it from you, haha. I agree with some of you, I really think she is hoping to be so big it will take away from me and us. I hate to say that, but all signs are leading to that, ya know? That's why we chose a flowy dress, was for HER. I'm not going to let her change the dress again. Thank you ALL for giving me the support and backbone that I needed!!!! I love my WBC girls!!!!! xoxoxo!!

i would tell her to keep the dress and see what happens.If she doesnt truly fit in it then really its your call wheather you want her in the wedding or not.The problem I believe started when you gave her the option and then actually let her have her way instead of yours I know it can be tricky especially with future family but this made her feel like okay she will have no issue changin the dress again and thats not right.It is your day, as for the pregnancy thats tricky I personally have had 3 and didnt show too much at 4 months but women who are thicker and are having twins are different and Im saying this cause my BFF who also is my MOH is preggers with twins (sohappy) and shes also on the thicker side shes gonna be 4 months in april and already looks bigger than I or any other woman whos having one would be.With all that said it is your day & she knew it was bound to happen but you cant be changing dresses cause of her so when time comes if she dont fit in it by then theres only 2 options get her a different dress which you dont want to do or tell her kindly that she will have to step down.