Is anyone else planning their wedding from a city other than where they currently live? Currently...
How long did you date before you got engaged?
About 3 ½ years.
Did you get the ring you wanted?
D picked it out all on his own. It is probably a lot simpler than I would have chose, but I love it to pieces.
Was the proposal a complete surprise?
Completely. I had no idea.
Do you wish you had a bigger/smaller diamond? If so, how big or small?
I have ready small hands and do a lot of crafting/ painting. A big diamond would get in the way of my everyday stuff. It is perfectly cute.
Did you cry when he proposed?
No. Im not really a crier.
Where do you want to go for your honeymoon?
We are hoping over to Oahu.
Are you buying his wedding band for him?
I think we both paid for it. It came out of the wedding account, but I ordered it.
Have you gone over your original wedding budget?
Yes & no. When we were planning out Edmonton wedding, we were planning on spending $10-15,000 (we very quickly realized with our tastes & guestlist that this was impossible). We were also planning on going on a long honeymoon to Spain which was going to cost us about $5,000/ person. Our 2 week in Hawaii budget with the wedding and a home reception is still costing us less than the original home wedding & honeymoon were going to cost. We still havent had to ask our parents for money. *phew*
What day of the year will your wedding be?
May 14, 2010
What kind of weather?
Im praying for a warm day, but not too hot. I wouldnt mind a little sprinkle, but no heavy rain.
Inside or outside?
Outside! We are getting married in a private garden overlooking the ocean, then our reception is at a luau!
Church/justice of the peace/other?
Hes a non-denominational minister who does traditional Hawaiian ceremonies.
How many people will be there?
The Hawaii wedding should have about 30 people. The home reception will have about 150.
Time of day?
Im getting married at 1pm!
Any kind of theme?
Vintage Hawaii. Im pretty into the 60s, so I want that vibe without being overdone.
How many bridesmaids? Who would they be?
I have 2 bridesmaids, my best friends since Junior High and one bridesman, my younger brother. My youngest brother is our ring bearer.
What kind of cake/what will it look like?
No cake for the Hawaii wedding. We will have coconut, pineapple and chocolate cupcakes for the home reception.
Are you going to be neat or messy when feeding him the cake?
No cake feeding. Yuck.
Where will you have the reception?
Old Lahaina Luau. We wanted something traditionally Hawaiian and fun.
What kind of dress will you have/color/material?
My dress is so lovely. It is J Crews Sascha. The dress is an empire-waist a-line dress with a boudoir neckline. It has buttons down the back & a big flower sash at the waist. No beading, lace or train. It is ivory silk taffeta. I ordered it months ago and it is hanging in my living room.
What kind of flowers in your bouquet?
I dont think Ill carry one since D & I are walking up the aisle together and I have a flower on the waist of my dress. I think the girls will have paper parasols.
Kind of wedding bands?
Mine is a plain white gold band. I want tiny coloured gemstones added. Ds is titanium with a milo wood inlay.
How will you wear your hair?
Wavy, natural with a bit pulled back.
Who will be important to be there?
D & our families.
Will the reception be big or small?
Small in Hawaii, huge at home!
What will the groom wear?
Tan or light grey coloured suit with an ivory shirt and seaglass striped tie.
How old will you and the groom be?
I will be 27 & D will be 37.
How long will you be engaged before you get married?
About a year and a ½.
Live together before or wait till married?
We have lived together for years.
Take a long time to plan the wedding or will it be simple?
It is simpler than the wedding at home was going to be.
Will you do it yourself or with family or hire someone to plan the wedding?
Mostly myself (with D & my moms opinions), but I have a coordinator in Maui so I dont go nuts.
Will you write your own vows or use something pre-made?
½ and ½ since we like the traditional Hawaiian vows, but we want to say our own thing too.
I read a lot of wedding blogs. One of my very favorites being The Practical Wedding.
Meg posted recently about reclaiming the word "wife." The term "wife" often conjures up images of someone baking muffins in an apron or taking the kids to soccer (not that either of these things are wrong). Most married blogs talk about nesting, having babies and cooking. It's like the strong independent single woman is replaced with...well..."wife" as soon as the ceremony is over. Her dreams and goals are suddenly replaced by her role as someone's wife or mother. She no longer has independent goals, the couple now has goals.
As a feminist (no, it isn't a bad word), I've always been pretty strong-willed about who I was and being defined by my roles. Yes, I might be someone's daughter, sister, or girlfriend, but I'm a heck of a lot more than that. I saw who my mother became when her life was overshadowed by my father's, than who she became when she divorced in her mid-40's and finally the person she evolved to after her children where grown up. I think that was the main reason I resolved my life not to include marriage. I didn't want to lose me. Me. A single identity with my own goals, my own dreams, my own money, my own person.
Then I met David. As our relationship developed, I realized I could be me with someone having my back. Marriage suddenly became something that I gained from instead of losing. David very much fosters my need to do my own thing and I think I do a good job of allowing him to do the same. Neither of us believes in "2 become 1" nonsense. We believe in 2. Two pillars holding up the same roof, 2 plants sharing the same pollen, 2 beings occupying the same marriage as partners should. Marriage became about completing all of my goals with someone cheering me on. A simple paradigm shift suddenly meant that I wasn't taking on this world alone.
I still have a major problem with the term "Mrs" though. I might be becoming David's wife, but I'll never be anyone's "Mrs," thank you very much.
Wedding Rings And Jewelry
A few weeks ago, Dave's wedding ring arrive in the mail. We sat in the car, I opened the envelope, passed him the small velvet pouch and started to cry.
I'm not the sort of girl that cries very often (I didn't cry at our proposal), but every now and then with the wedding planning something hits me - wham! - I'm getting married!
We ordered David's ring from Hawaiian Titanium from etsy. It is a Milo wood and titanium ring with "K + D May 14" engraved in the inside. The ring is extremely light and beautiful. Very D.
So much fun stuff! No time to blog!
David & I added a new member to our family this past weekend. Her name is Lola and she is a black & tan 2 year old cocker spaniel. Shes giving our 10 month old black cocker spaniel, Oscar a run for his money. It is so funny to see the two of them interact. Oscar is such a daddys boy and total wimp. Lola on the other hand is far more independent, aggressive and bossy. They look like completely different breeds of dog (Oscar looks far more like a small English Cocker and Lola like a miniature Rottie).
David has been jamming a lot with his band. They are sounding awesome, booking live shows... I'm with the guy in the band. Again. *laughs* It has been a lot of fun for me to see him putting this project together, writing songs and socializing with a great group of people.
Add on a whole lot of wedding planning and family visits and there is no time for blogging. This week looks like it should be fairly quiet, so I will do individual posts on all of the wedding stuff weve completed!
It's been so long since I updated. D & I took a little break from planning because we both needed clarity and to regroup. I worked a little bit more on our crazy huge wedding planning spreadsheet. Things feel good, I think. The to-do list is huge, but everything seems to be falling into place.
We got our engagement pictures back and they look amazing. My dog is insanely photogenic. I'm so happy with how they turned out. We picked up some decent frams at IKEA to display the photos at home. I just need to find some nice frames for the parent's photos.
We ordered our STD postcards from Vistaprint. We didn't get as sweet of a deal as we expected, but for 50 5"x8" glossy front coloured postcards we paid under $30 Canadian with shipping. Not bad. I'm trying to find nice stamps so I can send them out this week.
I think we may have found out minister as well. He just seems like someone we would like and does a traditional Hawaiian-style ceremony. I'm trying to find a coordinator company that works with him for an affordable price. I really want to have this booked by the end of next week since we can't exactly have a wedding without a ceremony, right?
Finding an awesome place to stay in Maui at the price we want has been a bit difficult. I think we may have found what I like to call "a sweet deal" for the condo complex we really like for $600 total for 7 days. I told the condo owner it is our wedding and she said she'd take one night off and make sure there was champagne and flowers in our room. The place isn't the Kea Lani, but it is far from ghetto. It looks like someone's home in Hawaii, which is exactly what we were looking for. I don't want to be thinking about where I'm going to get food everyday or being stressed about finding a laundry mat to wash my clothes - everything is right at the condo. With the savings from that part of the trip, D and I can go parasailing and staying in a really amazing place in Honolulu for our honeymoon.
D & I met with our photographers (Rob & Lauren - love 'em!) last night to go over our proofs and order prints. After going through over 60 photos we slowly worked our way down to 7 photos we really liked. There is a great black & white of D, Oscar and I sitting on the front steps of our house that I'm getting printed for my desk at work. I got a coloured print made of O, D & I in our back alley (you can see our car in the background) for D's desk at work. There is a really cute photo of D & I where we are both smiling at the camera that we are getting printed for all 3 sets of parents (like I said at the studio - "parents love that sh!t!"). There is a cuddly photo of D & I in front of this awesome white wall in our neighbourhood. We got a large black & white print done of D & I walking on train tracks that D calls our "band photo." We got an extra large print of D and I sitting really cool on train tracks. Then the one D had to get printed is him running off with my shoe because he thought it was hilarious. As soon as our photos are up on Rob & Lauren's site - I will link it.
I found this adorable dress on etsy.
I sent the link to my 'maids who loved it. The dress has a similar waistline to my dress. It also has pockets. Not to mention that adorable pleated collar that reminds me of a lei.
The seller is sending me fabric swatches of everything she has in blues and greens. I think the dress would look great in a a couple of colours. Maybe the waistband and collar in a contrasting colour. Amy Butler fabric would suit this dress a whole bunch.
I'm also ordering one of these adorable dresses for myself because I love it that much.
I'm getting married. For real. I was wondering when it was going to actually hit me because I've been a little unfocused on the fact that I'm not just having a wedding, I'm getting married. Me. Getting married. Hilarious!
We have booked our luau for May 14th. That is so soon and yet feels like a million years away. Since we decided to get married in May 2010 after May 2009, I didn't get to do that whole excited "one year until I'm married!" thing. Shucks. I'm still trying to find the right ceremony and minister for our wedding. We need someone who is going to be fairly flexible with our ceremony since we have our own ideas that we want incorporated. It's always been our way or no way. I like that about us.
I like that with all the decisions about this wedding, I've been sticking to my gut instinct. A few of the people coming with us to Maui have been there before. Their opinions and advice has been really helpful with us deciding on things, but in the end, it has been D and I making the decisions on everything.
There are still a ton of other things that we still need to book, order and make decisions on. My list seems to continue to grow instead of shrink. I've lost the need to have everything perfect and I'm more excited about making everything really fun. David and I have decided to do an itinerary for the week. There are a ton of things we want to do on Maui and we'd love for other people to join us. I'm getting really excited about "outrigger canoe day" and "learn about sea turtles" almost as much as I am about my wedding. I think I'm mostly really excited about all the awesome food and shave ice. But, is that a surprise to anyone? It's like a week of celebrating with our favorite people in a really perfect place. What on earth could be better than that?
D keeps thinking that out August 14 home reception will be really anti-climatic, but I think the opposite. I get to bring all of my favorite Hawaii things to Edmonton! I also get to have that wedding celebration at my parents' house which is what I've always wanted for my wedding. That reception is also going to be the party where I get to celebrate with all of the people who we aren't inviting to Hawaii (D and I hope this satisfies our Aunts). We also don't care if people wear Hawaiian shirts to that party.
So ya, this is really effing real.
I booked something!
We booked our luau for Friday, May 14th. We will be partying it up Hawaiian-style at the Old Lahaina Luau in Maui!
D and I are both really excited to finally have something booked since we really haven't completed all that much wedding-wise.
So far, all we have is my ring, my dress, our reception booked and a draft guest list.
We still need his ring, his outfit, groomsmen and bridesmaid attire, accommodations, transportation, a photographer, a ceremony location and officiant, plane tickets, STDs, invitations, and to plan our home reception. Eeepp.
We also did our engagement photos last week with these fantastic photographers - Rob & Lauren. Oscar was hamming it up for the camera the whole time. Such a cheeky little guy. I think Rob & Lauren were entertained by us and our stories. We are pretty excited to see what they've come up with for us.
As soon as I get those photos back, I'm going to make up some STD postcards on vistaprint for all of the important people so they can stop being like "when are we going to Maui again? What day is that? What's your website address?"
P & T - the finale
My part-time job is a wedding coordinator/ planner. About a year ago, my 41 year old brother got engaged to his lovely girlfriend. They heard about my dream to be married on my parent's acreage in Spruce Grove and decided they wanted to do the same.* They live in Vancouver, so they new they needed a wedding planner to pull this off. Me being an aspiring planner (and complete idiot) offered to do the deed. A year of stress, miscommunication, indecisive bridal couple, sleepless nights, screaming, trying to be professional with family, going way over budget...and...well, I pulled it off...and it was beautiful.
There are no pictures yet because I was running around like a crazy woman and didn't get any shots. I promise to share some as soon as I have a chance to track some photos down.
The couple: Paul & Tara
Location: Family Acreage, Spruce Grove, Alberta
Date: July 18, 2009
Theme: The coming together of two cultures - Finnish & Metis, country without being overly rustic.
The good things:
-the tent looked so incredible and beautiful. I love the way we set up the tables and how I decorated.
-the centerpieces. My dad, brothers, step-mom & I went birch bark hunting on Father's day. I took what we found and wrapped it around recycled cans and jars donated to me from my mom's daycare. My mom and I spent about 4 hours taking $300 worth of Costco flowers, plus clippings from both my garden and my step-mom's garden and arranging them into the vases I made. I set the tables with white linens, then places 3 vases on each table. At the base of the vases, I scattered polished river rocks and natural colored feathers. I also placed 2 votive candles on each table. I have to admit that I haven't seen prettier arrangements at another country wedding.
-the bouquets. Another KB creation. They were made from hydrangeas, roses, spray roses, daisies, saskatoon berries, cala lilies, and a bunch of other flowers we cut from the garden. I added in my new signature thing - a little feather butterfly. I had-tied the stems with white and red ribbons. I don't know if there are any close-up pictures of the bouquets.
-the bison roasts. My Auntie Elaine & Uncle Len have a buffalo ranch and donated 2 huge roasts to the wedding. My Uncle Garry had a custom spit made for making large roasts. He spent almost 8 hours watching the roasts as they cooked over the grill. So much preparation for a delicious meal.
-the ceremony site. I wasn't involved in the set-up of this area at all. The chairs were in perfect curved rows. My step-mom placed flower pots along the aisle and around the "alter." It was so stunning that the neighbour lady had tears when she saw it.
-the teepee. This was set up my dad and some helpers. It was a nice addition to the day.
-the cake. A traditional Finnish cake with almonds and fresh berries. Delicious and beautiful.
-the bride and groom. They looked gorgeous in their traditional garb. I loved it.
-the aboriginal performers from the Yukon. Unexpected guests that did a performance for us after dinner. They had everyone dancing in a big circle around the tent. It was hilarious and fantastic to see my mom's Dutch boyfriend right into it.
-help. The amount of people who pitched in to help out that didn't even know the bride and groom very well was amazing. I'm still brought to tears thinking about it. It is exactly what a marriage should be based on: community, love, support, culture, family...
The bad things:
-me. I was tired and grouchy to everyone. There were a few times when I snapped and said not-so-nice things. I feel terrible for anyone that had to witness that.
-the budget. This stressed the bride and I out to no end. I'm able to pull off pretty much anything within any budget, if people are willing to give and understand that there are things they can't afford. These things would be: shuttling your family back and forth from their hometown, paying for other people's hotel rooms, live entertainment before the reception, lots of alcohol...
-the shuttles. There was miscommunication regarding pick-up times. It got sorted out in the end.
-the marriage certificate. It was forgotten at the hotel. My David saved the day by missing the ceremony to run over and pick it up.
-the Finnish food. It tasted great, but there was a bit of disaster on when to set it out, etc.
-the blessing. I made a small mistake in writing out my uncle's MC duties that lead to there not being a blessing before the meal. The Elder who is a very good friend, graciously blessed everything after eating.
-the storm. Sure, it cooled things down, but it also caused us to shut things down early for everyone's safety.
-lack of photos. I didn't get to take photos of all the things I wanted. I really hope that I can track some down from guests.
*This threw my not-yet-fiance in a loop because that was to be our plan and it wouldn't feel as original or interesting if it had already been done. This was what turned our wedding planning into a mess. We had a plan and someone stole it...